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Evansville, Indiana
November 6, 1987     The Message
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November 6, 1987
 

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4 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana November 6, 1987 I I IIII III I I I Teens and the family Parents reminded they are most important people in teens' lives DR. KENNETH GOLDSTEIN By PAUL LEINGANG Message Editor Dr. Kenneth Goldstein had some advice for parents. "If you want to find out how your son is doing in high school, the best way is to get to know the mothers of the girls your son knows." Goldstein, a psychologis(and family counselor, is the father of two adolescent boys. About 150 parents came to Memorial High School, Evansville, to hear him speak Oct. 26, at a presentation organized by the school and the Parent Network- ing Committee. Goldstein told the parents that "much of what we're going through is a very normal pro- cess." Rather than pathological, it is very normal, he said, for children "to ques- tion us, to challenge us, and to be embarrassed by us." He cited physiological changes, a newly developed ability to think in abstract terms, and a changing identity as the three major sources of stress for adolescents. Part of parenting, he said, was to encourage a child to take effective control over his or her life. "The parent has to be com- fortable allowing a child to make age-appropriate choices." Parents who wonder if a child is using illicit drugs should watch for certain patterns of behavior, according to the psychologist. Two things to watch for are low grades and friends who smoke marijuana, he said; the third is disregard for personal safety -- not using seat belts is a good example. Goldstein emphasized the need for parents to identify talent in a child, to help the child feel valued. He said also that parents should try to make the home an attractive place for the child -- "make it attractive for the child to use your .home for a non-alcoholic party,C',as a place for friends to gather, and where the child can spend time with you." In response to a question from the audience about the dif- ficulty of spending time with an adolescent child, Goldstein said it was important to remember that parents are still the most important people in a child's life, even though it may not seem obvious. "They.,tvant to please us," he said,'"the same way we still want to please our parents." He suggested that the best way to be prepared for all even- tualities was to have all the parents belong to a support network. 'Roots and Wings' focuses on Christian Family Movement ROOTS AND WINGS, by Rose Marciano Lucey. Resource Publications, Inc., (160 E. Virginia St., Ste. 290, San Jose, Calif. 95112, 1987}. 135 pp., $7.95. Reviewed by Mary Kenny NC News Service In the late 1940s a new move- ment was born in the Catholic Church which offered couples the opportunity to bring the Gospel into daily life in a prac- tical way. It was the Christian Family Movement, or CFM. An early and long-time participant in that movement, Rose Lucey offers an affectionate introduc- tion to and history of CFM. The core of CFM is social ac- i tion based upon reflection on the Gospel. The theological base _is the docrine of the Mystical Body. "By this sim- ple, profound belief, CFMers know that their lives, stances and actions are crucial to the completion of the body of Christ in humanity." The method of CFM is the observe-judge-act method designed by Canon Joseph Car- dijn of Belgium. CFMers learn to get the facts, to evaluate the information, and finally to take some action based on the in- sights. Couples acting together for personal and social change were new models in the church. Church groups were -- and are -- frequently divided into men and women. In CFM couples 0000]Dubois County Bank CLOSE TO YOU WITH 8 CONVENIENT LOCATIONS , i IMPORTANT! I CALL: 424-9274 worked together. Women took leadership roles long before feminism arose. CFM sought to eliminate the gu.lf between the spiritual and the secular life. "They are not two separate existences but one life to be lived. The families were not concerned with building a structure, they were interested in living out the call of the Gospel within their own environment." The author uses statements from present and former CFMers to capture the spirit of the movement. This reader wished that she had included a II more thorough and systematic history of the movement. W--e she discusses briefly the tur- bulence of the 1970s, she Offers no real analysis of CFM's dif- ficulties at that time. Mary Kenny is co-author of the NC column "Family Talk." 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