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The Message
Evansville, Indiana
October 27, 1989     The Message
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October 27, 1989
 

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15 October 27, 1989 111 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana Positive discipline starts with message of love Dr. Jane Nelsen believes that most parents discipline their children out of love. Unfor- tunately, this message of love often isn't heard. Dr. Nelsen, a licensed mar- riage, family and child therapist, spoke recently about By MARY ANN HUGHES Message Staff Writer The following article, the third era three part series on positive ]iscipline, focuses on "chang- Ig behaviors." the theory of positive discipline which is "always positive and never humiliating" to children. She reminded parents and teachers to make sure "the message of love gets through." "I know you love your children, but do your children know you love them?" She mentioned a three-year- old child who told her parents, "I know you love me if I be good" and a high school stu- dent who said, "I know you love me -- if I get good grades." She encouraged parents and teachers to "take a look at what we say -- and what they (the children) hear." She offered four steps in deal- ing with children during pro- blem situations: First: Get into the child's world. Understand their realities. Make guesses, then check them out. Second: Show understand- ing. This does not mean con- doning. Tell a story about a time when you felt the same way. Third: Share your feelings. Fourth: Find a solution together. She noted that two problem areas for families include get- ting children to do chores around the house and fights between children in a family. She suggested that the first thing to do "is to get over ex- pecting children to like doing their chores. Chores are just not high on their .priority list. It's important to follow through, but don't expect them to love it." She added, "That comes later, when they are trying to teach it to their own kids." The best way to deal with children fighting in a family is to "not get involved." Children are fighting because they want their parents' attention. When they do not receive it, "their fights will diminish." "Stay out of all of them," she encouraged, "and treat them (each child) exactly the same." Each child in the family needs to be given special atten- tion each day by parents. Dr. contest winners Nine of the 24 winners of the Evansville Fire Department's poster contest are students at Good Shepherd School, Evansville. The student winners are, front row, left, Brandon Broyles, Matthew Settles, Kelly Joergens, Ken Smith, back row,/eft, Ryan Hender- son, Kristina Kolle, Sarah Scheller, Jamie Scheller, Jessica Winterman. Good Shepherd Catholic Church North NORTH PARK SHOPPING CENTER INFO MOVIES & VIDEO CLUB INF0- 425-1385 FA L L F E STIVA L Sunday, October 29 12 Noon til ???? II].1' VANII FAMILY STYLE DINNER MI,( II.I,,\\;NI ()1 ;h .4A LIMOUSINE SERVICE 11:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Chicken and Roast Beef Carryouts A vailable * "UN FOR THE ENTIRE FAMIL Y Kiddie Rides Games Wheels 428-7058 Food Booths ,, Crafts t Giveaway of dinner for two I M t on a Including lime and movie tickets EAST_NDPLCE p . SHOPPING CENTER ublic Party Will Start At 5.30 P.M. For Early Birds 473 0223 o / PLease patronize our advertisers Nelsen suggests 10 minutes a day with younger children. "When you tuck them in bed, ask them what was the saddest thing that happened to them to- day. Then share your saddest thing with them. Then ask them what was the happiest thing that happened today. Then share your happiest thing." "You will be surprised what you learn." Finally, she encourages parents and teachers to get children involved in the decision-making process through family meetings and class meetings. People Continued from page 7 80 years in Dale Parishioners at St. Joseph Church, Dale, celebrated the 80th anniversary of the founding of their parish on Oct. 24. Ladies Sodality New officers of the Ladies Sodality at St. Mary Church, Huntingburg, are Carol Libbert, president; Selma Hoing, vice- president; Virginia Schnellenberger, secretary, and Margaret Devlin, treasurer. 50 years Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Irwin Helming of St. Ferdi- nand Church, Ferdinand who recently celebrated their fiftieth dding anniversary. Eagle Scout Jim Voight received his eagle scout badge at St. Philip Church, Mount Vernon. He is the son of Clara Voight of St. Philip and James Voight of St. Joseph Church, Evansville. Message classifieds ATTENTION -- HIRING! govern- ment jobs -- your area. Many im- mediate openings without waiting list or test. $17,840-$69,485. Call 1-602-838-8885. EXT. R4880. ATTENTION -- GOVERNMENT SEIZED vehicles from $100. Fords, Memedos, Corvettes, Chews. Surplus Buyers Guide 1-602-838-8885 Ext. A4880. ATTENTION - GOVERNMENT HOMES from $1 (U-repair). Delin- quent tax property. Repossessions. Call 1-602-838-8885 Ext. GH4880. reading books. $32,000/year income potential. Details. (1) 602-838-8885 Ext. Bk 4880. I American ' [ [ National Bank [ | Bickne!l - Sandborn I I Vincennes I | Drive-in Facilities - Member F.D.I.C. | I , A Full Service Bank I ,!