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October 18, 1996

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10 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana ---On The Record--- Skill needed for enduring relationships FOREVER Those days of love are gone/Our time is through/Still I burn on and on/All of my life/Only for you By CHARLIE MARTIN CNS COLUMNIST (REFRAIN) From now/Until forever and ever/My darling, forever/You will always be the only one/You will always be the only one As long as I shall live/I'll hold you dear/And I will reminisce/Of our love through the years (REPEAT REFRAIN) If you should ever need me/Unfailingly I will returnfro your arms/And unburden your heart/And if you should remember/That we belong together/Never be ashamed/Call my namefrell me I'm the one you treasure Forever and ever my darling/Forever you will always be the one/You will always be the one Written by Mariah Carey/Waiter Afanasieff Sung by Mariah Carey Copyright (c) 1995 by Sony Songs Inc./ Rye Songs (BMI)/Sony Tunes IncJ Wallyworld Music (ASCAP) Mariah Carey's "Forever" describes someone deeply in love. Her feelings are strong, and for her the romantic dream has come true. But there's a problem. Forever is a long time! What a person feels very intensely today may change in a day, or a month, or a year. In fact, it is sure to change at some point. Emotion by its nature evolves and changes. In my work as a pastoral counselor, I've met with many couples. They have come to me to figure out why they seem to be "forever" dead-ended. Their feelings no longer match the feelings described in this song. For most of those I meet with, anger and hurt have become the dominant feelings. In this situation, they have discovered some- thing about long-term relationships, namely, that strong feelings are not enough. Emotional attach- ment is where a relationship tends to start. But anyone who hopes to be in a marriage some day needs to acquire certain other abilities and skills. We need a willingness and ability to be fair. enter into a relationship. During these times, being fair begins tening. Can you allow the other person to have or her feelings without becoming defensive? you hear what things look and feel other's point of view? Fairness also means giving up one's "right" all the time. Instead, focus on mutually : acceptable solutions to conflicts. This allows the relationship to succeed, even ceptions or feelings must be set aside. Another factor that helps a relationshi is a spiritual bond. Love comes from God. Even ing difficult times couples should take time for itual sharing; this keeps the roots of their ship attached to the source of love. God's love presence allows wilting relationships to bloom again. Falling in love is not difficult. love depends on attaining skills and abilities most of us learn after the romantic rush sided. Those who strive to learn these skills mi discover that the song is right when it says love can take us toward "forever" one day at Perhaps that sounds easy, especially when you feel so in love. However, what sounds easy turns into a challenge when conflict and misunderstandings (Your comments are always welcome. Please address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, IN 47635.) At the movies: Current capsule reviews THE CATHOLIC COMMUNICATION B NEW YORK {CNS) -- The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for Film and Broadcasting. Ratings are also given for the Motion Picture Association of America IMPAA). "The Chamber" (Universal) Somber drama from John Grisham's novel about the dark secrets uncovered by a novice lawyer (Chris O'Donnell} in his stubborn attempt to win a stay of execution in Mississippi for his racist grandfather {Gene Hack- man), convicted of murdering twin boys decades earlier. Direct- ed by James Foley, the result is not particularly suspenseful, but offers an absorbing character study of the convicted man com- ing to terms with the life he has led. Sporadic violence, racial epi- thets and an instance of profani- ty. The USCC classification is A- III -- adults. The MPAA rating is R -- restricted. "D3: The Mighty Ducks" (Disney) Thin sequel about the problems of the now-teen hockey team at a posh prep school, where they encounter hostile students and their old coach (Emilio Estevez) is replaced by a grim new one (Jef- frey Nordling). The formula story is a contrived mixture of youthful pranks and emotional struggles leading up to the big game and its bone-crunching physical contact. Some dangerous stunts, vulgar humor and a few coarse expres- sions. The USCC classification is A-II -- adults and adolescents. The!Mction Picture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. "Get on the Bus" (Columbia) Documentary-like road movie explores the attitudes and emo- tions of 15 African-Americans from the South Central section of Los Angeles as they bus across the country to attend the 1995 Million Man March in Washington. Directed by Spike Lee, the fictional characters engage in lively discussions of racial and family issues in a reflective manner that only briefly turns preachy. Fleeting violence, some racial epithets, sporadic rough language and occasional profanity. The USCC classification is A-III -- adults. The MPAA rating is R restricted. "The Ghost and the Dark- ness" (Paramount) After scores of construction workers fall victim to a relent- less pair of marauding lions in 1898 East Africa, an Irish engi- neer (Val Kilmer) and an Amer- ican big game hunter {Michael Douglas) join forces to track down the beasts and shoot them. Directed by Stephen Hopkins, the fact-based action-adventure is a dark and grisly story of two men in a land being unwillingly Illustrated Catholic Bible on CD-ROM: Faith and fun The Illustrated Catholic Bible on CD-ROM is an enjoyable experience. It is a bible using the text of the Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition; it is also a dictionary, an atlas and a picture book of 700 scriptural scenes. REVIEW By PAUL It. LEINGANG Message editor I I Sacred music brings another dimension to the display on the computer screen, although Gre- gorian chant at times seems an odd choice accompanying paint- ings of Palestinian scenes. The Illustrated Catholic Bible contains a "chapter summary" at the beginning of each book of the bible. A section entitled and maps to trace salvation his- tory, at the click of a computer mouse, For serious students, the CD also contains two documents of the Church, Dei Verbum and The Interpretation of the Bible in the Church. Included on the CD is The Catholic Encyclopedic Dictio- nary of Biblical Terms, available by means of a link at the top of every screen. Over 1800 entries provide information on names, theological concepts and topics of interest for Catholics. Searchingfor a word or a sub- ject takes a few seconds at most, from any screen. I tried the word, "cucumber," and found that it is used three times in the Old Testament and it is also list- ed in the dictionary. A click of "Pedple of God provides text the computec mouse took me in a few seconds to the tenth chap- ter of Jeremiah, where pagan idols are described as "scare- crows in a cucumber field." The CD is full of features which I found to be very excit- ing and useful in studying about the Catholic faith. It is fun to use, too. The Illustrated Catholic Bible is currently being introduced into Catholic bookstores, who can obtain it from national dis- tributors Spring Arbor and Catholic Video. It is also avail- able to consumers form Loyola Press, Ignatius Press and St. Joseph Communications, or directly from Harmony Media (503) 982-7675. It works with Windows 3.X, Windows '95 or Apple Macintosh. Suggested list $29.9o. price is ' . ." .............. tamed by outside forces. Many scenes of maulings, gory shots of corpses and minimal profani- ty. The USCC classification is A- III  adults. The MPAA rating is R -- restricted. "The Glimmer Man" (Warn- er Bros.) Mindless action thriller in which two Los Angeles homicide detectives (Steven Seagal and Keenan Ivory Wayans) break up a gang of international terror- ists while after a serial killer who crucifies his victims. Direct- ed by John Gray, the muddled plot alternates the search for a religious fanatic with hunting down the terrorist masterminds in numbingly dumb fashion. Numerous gruesome deaths, nudity, some rough language and occasional profanity. The USCC classification is O morally offensive. The MPAA rating is R -- restricted. 'Vlhe Long Kiss Goodnight" (New Line) Overly violent tale of an amnesia victim (Geena Davis) who teams with a hired investi- gator (Samuel L. Jackson) to discover she was an assassin employect by a secret govern- ment agency which now has her on its hit list. Director Renny Harlin's overwrought thriller is stuffed with brutality and mur- derous clashes but lacks char- acter development and coherent plotting. Excessive violence, deadly menace to a child, some sexual innuendo, occasional pro- fanity and much rough lan- guage. The USCC classification is O -- morally MPAA rating is R "Michael Collins" Bros.) Sweeping, emotionally d ing account of the Neeson) who armed Republican Ireland from 700 yearS rule ating the Irish Free State Republican movement, resulted in civil war and death in 1922. Nell Jordan's bilitates Collins' leading! achieving Irish while splendidly crowded events and gallery of heroes and which make the 1 both as history and drama. Terrorist language and occasional ty. The USCC III-- adults. The MPAA R  restricted. :  "That Thing You Century Fox) Warm-hearted whic Erie, Pa., form a band in 1964, then et toward the top charts under the of their recto [Tom Hanks). Also directed by Hanks, story brims with berance in a vivid more innocent era. A expressions. The cation is A-II -- adults -- parental guidance "Where customers send their Open nightly til hop OLD US 231 SOUTH JASPER, IN 482-2222 : 1-800-937-USA1