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October 11, 1991     The Message
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October 11, 1991
 

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JL U The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana Entertainment October 11, 199 On the Record By CHARLIE MARTIN NC News Service Columnist Facing lmin: Don't pretend it isn't there HOLE HEARTED Life's a hitch, I just bide my time/Priorities con. fuse the mind/Half the cares won't step behind There's still a piece I've yet to find/ Rivers flow into the sea/But even the sea is not so full of me/Ifrm not blind why can't I see/That a circle can't fit where a square should be REFRAIN: There's a hole in my heart/That can only be filled by you/And this hole in my heart/Can't be filled by the things that I do/Hole hearted/Hole hearted This heart of stone is where I hide/These feet of clay kept warm inside/Keep my baby satisfied If I fade away befbre I die REPEAT REFRAIN Should have known from the start/I'd fall short with the things that I do/Hole hearted/Hole hearted Written by Nuno Bettencourt, Gary Cherone Sung by Extreme Copyright (c) 1990 by A&M Records Inc. Many people I work with in the parish know that I write these columns. Sometimes, when they come to discuss what is occurring in their lives, they refer to a popular song to describe how they feel. That is what young woman did recently. She is recovering from being emotionally abused and abandoned in her family of origin. She used Extreme's "Hoh; Hearted" to ex- plain how she feels about her mother. She quot- ed the lyrics in describing this painful relation- ship: "It has left me with "a hole in my heart that can't be filled with the things that I do."' Many individuals have been emotionally in- jured by the way another has treated them. When this hurt bppens during childhood, no lnatter how long ago, the injury is deep. In fact, the. effects can last a lifetime unless we see the hurt for what it is. grieve the losses caused by the experience, and gradually rediscov- er our true selves with all our gifts. Most likely, the song is referring to the hurt caused by a broken romance. Yet, emotional in- jury is a painful reality no matter what type of re- lationship brings it upon us. The song suggests that we can't heal hurts of the heart by just keeping busy. 1 agree. Behind most people who get caught up in constant activ- ity or who abuse drugs, alcohol, sex or food is a lot of hurt. Healing begins when we find a safe person and talk about what we feel. Such a person lis- tens with care, without judging or trying to mini- mize whatever we are experiencing. For the person in the song it is in "this heart of stone where I hide," This image refers to how the person has completely shut down his inner feelings. Perhaps he acts like his feelings don't n]ean that much, that it is better to be tough and laugh it off. Maybe this will work for a while, but to get past the pain we nmst face it. If you feel like you have a hole in your t{eart, no nmtter what the cause, turn to some- one you trust. Begin to share how you feel. It can be helpflll to talk with someone trained in listening and helping others. This might be a counselor at your school, your .parish priest or someone else in parish min- , istry, or perhaps a favorite teacher. They can also help you decide what other type of care and help you might need. Most of all, turn to God. Don't pretend that everything is OK when it isn't. God knows our hearts and wanls us to find healing. Ask God to guide you toward recovering the promise of a thll and satisfying life. SpecialNote:Manyreaders havecome ,o ::J[ ,,, i ;1 me about my cohmm on The Escape Club's 11 Be "rhere." To all of you who have lost sons or !!'!l [ daughters, fathers or mothers, I send my prayers and love. May God stand with you during your ins and loss of someone so close to you. (Your comments are always welcome. mail them to: Charlie Martin, R.R. 3, Box Rockport, Ind. 47635.) 'Little Man Tate' and 'Deceived' NEW YORK (CNS) -- A 7- year-old child prodigy is torn between two very different women in his life in "Little Man Tate" (Orion). Jodie Foster stars as singh; mom Dede "Fate, a gum-crack- ing waitress who's nuts about her little boy, Fred (Adam Hann-Byrd). But she also feels for him -- he's a lonely child who doesn't fit in with the other kids and who wor- ries so much he has ulcers. Reluctantly she entrusts Fred for three weeks to the care of austere child psychol- ogist Dr. Jane Grierson (Di- anne Wiest), who is studying gifted children and can chal- lenge Fred's mind in a com- petitive setting with other ge- nius-level kids. Dr. Jane recognizes Fred's trenlendous potential and wants his talents to be devel- oped. She arrogantly con- vinces Dede to let her have Fred for a summer at college. As Dede desperately misses the light of her life, solemn little Fred thinks he has final- ly found a best friend in col- lege student Eddie (Harry Connick Jr.). But he's disap- pointed when he bursts in on Eddie entertaining a woman in his room and is gently told there are some adult situa- tions he is too young to share in. Dr. Jane can stimulate his intellect, of course,,, but she hasn't a clue as to how to pro- vide the vulnerable child with what his mother has al- ways given him -- sponta- neous warmth, love and emo- tional support. For her directorial debut Foster has chosen a serious story and culled sensitive performances from the leads -- including herself. The opening scenes quickly establish the close bond be- tween mother and child. Through Fred's eyes we see his difficult world. Too brainy to be popular with kids his age and bored by a school that ignores his spe- cial needs, Fred almost never smiles. As he attempts to un- derstand the bewildering world of adults, his grave face communicates his growing sense of aloneness. Foster's understated perfor- mance is equally poignant. Fred is her whole world, but she loves him enough to put his best interests first. This means facing the fear of los- ing him to a brilliant, wealthy woman who threatens her. Wiest is the character who changes the most. Little Fred urges her to take a new look at life, seeing it as something nmre than purely intellectual concerns. The growth is most telling in a scene where he asks with childlike inno- cence, "What's wrong with you?" While it can be applauded for broaching an unglamorous theme -- the problems gifted children face -- "Little Man Tate" damages its credibility with a tacked-on happy end- ing that is sheer Hollywood. However, it's an entertaining film that deserves an audi- ence and it marks a promis- ing debut for director Foster. Because of a brief bedroom scene, the U.S. Catholic Con- ference classification is A-II "-- adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Associa- tion of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. A widow's lite rapidly un- ravels when she discovers her husband's identity was com- pletely fabricated in "Deceived" (Touchstone). Alter a car wreck burns her husband's body beyond recognition, Adrienne Soun- ders (Goldie Hawn) is shocked to learn from Social Security that her seemingly devoted husband Jack (John Heard), a respected museum curator, was using a long- dead classmate's identity. Shaken, she pursues this mystery, unaware that some- one is watching her loft apart- ment intent upon retrieving an ancient necklace belong- ing to the museum. As she persistently digs deeper, Adrienne is fright- ened to find Jack was leading an intricate double life. The stakes get higher when her loft is trashed, her maid is nmrdered and the killer takes Adrienne's little girl in order to guarantee getting the neck- lace from her mother. There are more holes in this plot than on a golf course but it hardly seems to detract from director Damian Harris' edgy suspense movie. The red herrings and bumps in the night come fast and furious, right up to the shattering conclusion. Despite its implausible sit- uations the movie is very emotionally involving as Hawn uncovers layer upon layer of deceit visited upon her by the man she thought she could trust with her lift. . Heard is remote and never convincing when trying to manipulate those around him. However, he is shot from menacing angles and the use of light and shadow throughout, especially on faces, is quite effective. The spooky loft apartment in the deserted building absorbs much of the atmosphere of dread and danger. Some developments invite laughs, but if you can SUb- movie is a nifty thriller all|'ll the climax is a scene Of sU{ i tained suspense worth tl![ roller-coaster ride of falS! [ chins and tricky twists. [ Due to momentary violerJCe ! and mild sexual innuendO'| the U.S. Catholic Confere-c [ classification is A-It -- adtdt I and adolescents. 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