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September 20, 1991     The Message
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September 20, 1991

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The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana Entertainment On the Record By CHARLIE MARTIN NC News Service Columnist TOO MANY WALLS We shot a rainbow, it's all that I can do/Dream of the good times that we never knew/No late night alone in your arms/I'll dream on/Living in wonder, thinking of you/Still looking for ways to uncover the truth/"You're so young" is all they can say They don't know/If I could change the way of the world/I'd be your girl. REFRAIN: Too many walls have been built be- tween us/Too many dreams have shat- tered around us/If I seem to give up/Us two never win/Deep in my heart]l know that strength is within Watching the other chances go by/You'll never dis- cover these feelings I hide/Deep inside I'm ihlling apart/All alone with a broken heai't/Thinking in si- lence is all they allow/These words now unspoken may never he found/All these dreams may one day be mine/They cross my mind/My time has yet to come/Until then REPEAT REFRAIN THREE TIMES Written by C. Dennis; A. Dudley Sung by Cathy Dennis Copyright (c} 1991 Polydor Ltd.; Copyright {c) 1991 by PolyGram Records Inc. When is it time to give up on a dating relation- ship? According toCathy Dennis' "Too Many Wails, it is when too many walls have been built between us," when "too many dreams have shat- A few walls to watch for in a dating relationship tered around us." Not that the girl in Dennis' current hit wants to end her relationship. Rather, she dreams of "the good times," though she realizes they never exist- ed in this romance. After running through all these thoughts and feelings, she resolves to move on with her life, "Deep in my heart I know that strength is within," she says. Given this power within, she can face her broken heart and look for a better life. The deeper issue here is how to prevent Walls in the first place. Unfortunately, barriers to a last- ing relationship often grow before we notice. Dat- ing couples can find that they are hurting each other. Here are a few walls to watch for, problems that need to be addressed: 1. Fear. Some fears are easy to see, like not . feeling safe with another person. If we are afraid of terns and beyond the walls that are part of old 1: being ridiculed, put down or physically harmed, haviors. we back off emotionally. Other fears are more subtle, like being afraid to express your opinions because of" the conflict that doing so may cause. Whatever the reasons for our fears, they can become walls. Relationships infected with fear Inav limp along, but they do not live up to our holes or answer our needs. 2. Any lack of fairness eventually becomes a wall to fairness. Even when two people are in love, each one is different. They have different needs, interests and dreams. When one individual's preferences become more important than the other's, a lack of fairness enters the relationship. The alternative is to negoti- ate an understanding about these differences in which each person feels free to speak honestly about what he or she wants, yet the two work to, gether to find a middle ground both can accept, 3. Other walls come from past relationships,: This is especially true when hurts have occurred in our own families. We carry the pain forward into new relationships, often without realizing i Families are learning laboratories where we develop our styles of relating to others, If you have suffered any emotional, physical or sexual abuse in your family, you need to understand : how these experiences have affected you. Your strength and insight have helped you . survive in the past, but in a new relationship yc want more than this. Seek the professional guid- ance that can help yon tomove beyond old pat- 4. Unexpressed anger or resentment also erodes loves closeness. Hiding our anger is often a pattern we learned in our families. However, no:!:: matter why we do so, hidden anger sabotageSaf- fection and in general gradually destroys the emotional bond between two people. The alternative is obvious: Tell the truth r September 20, 1991 t f I [ I t ! I I I about what you are feeling. Creatively use the em I ergy in anger to examine your problems and work ! out nmtually acceptable solutions, :i!i [ |l (Your comments are always welcome Please:::i![ address them to: Chartie Martin, ,RR 3, Box 182, i| l Rockport, IN 47635.) .... ....... f i "The Second Russian Rev- olution,", Sept. 22-26, Dis- covery cable Bringing the background of the current upheaval in the Soviet Union into sharp locus is the six-part documentary series, "The Second Russian Revolution." The series pre- mieres Sunday, Sept. 22, 9-11 p.m. EDT with two back-to- back hour episodes on the Discovery cable channel. Suc- ceeding parts will air Monday through Thursday, Sept. 23- 26, starting at 10 p.m. EDT. Each episode looks at ap- proximately one year of Gor- bachev's rule and recounts major milestones on the road to reform. The episode pre- viewed, Part 2, "The Battle for Glasnost" opens with the aftermath of the Chernobyl nuclear accident and carries viewers through an attempt by Gort:.achev's second-in- command to oust him from power. With radioactive fires rag- ing out of control around Chernobyl days after the nu- clear power plant explosion, in April 1986, nothing had appeared in the Soviet media. Fifty miles south, in Kiev, only the Co,.au:'st Party elite were warned to take io- dine pills to counteract the radioactive winds heading to- ward them. The May Day pa- rade was held as usual with the populace out on the streets when the danger was greatest. When the cover-up was eventually exposed, Mikhail deputy leader of the Soviet sider's view of events in a his reforms werebeginningt°t Gorbachev gave glasnost a Party and No. 2 in the Polit- normally closed society, take hold. From his rigid sUP'[ major boost by allowing buro. He used a trip abroad The politicians offer diver- port of socialism and tlal[ greater freedom of the press, by Gorbachev as the perfect gent recollections of how the Communist Party, viewersg°.,[ Where once a simple rock time to get an article attack- Chernobyl disaster was han- asenseofthepersonandW![ concert required approval ing glasnost widely dissemi- died, to the point where the perhaps feel relief that hedl from the Politburo, now there nated in the country in an ef fact that a half million people not prevail. was the unopposed release of fort to discredit Gorbachev's were irradiated almost gets Other episodes deal wit the anti-Stalinist, film, "Re- reforms. Upol] his return the lost in the political posturing. Gorbachev's initial rise to[ pcntancc,' which challenged wily Gorbachev, however, The scientists and editors on power, the surge for dis rct[ the very te.nets of the Russian quickly summoned a Polit- the other hand are refreshing- identities among the variO0/[ Revolution. Indeed by the buromeeting;Ligachev'scon- ly frank. Archival news republics and Boris Yelt rsI end of Gorbachev's second year in power, Soviet dissi- spiracy failed, and glasnost footage blends in nicely to political struggles. Based°! dent Andrei Sakharov had took off. temper the talking-heads as- this glasnost episode it see#:[ been released and Gorbachev Although few of the Soviet pect of the program, an absorbing primer for faOal hail branded Stalin a crimi- politicians and editors inter- Most intriguing were the ly members on events that w,u nal. viewed in this Discovery comments from Ligachev, up to what has now surely All this did not sit well Channel/BBC co-production who almo'st masterminded become the second RusS ia with hard-liners. Determined are household names in the Gorbachev's downfall just as Revolution. to reinstall old-style commu- United States, they still hold nism was Yegor Ligachev, interest by conveying an in- SUBSCRIBE TO Low, Fixed Rates For Term Life Insurance I THE MESSAGE Guaranteed For Ten Years These low premiums will remain level for 10 years. 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