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August 30, 1996     The Message
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August 30, 1996
 

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V The Message- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana August 30, 1996 I I Family members should discuss money, financial issues J=, (CNS)-- Discussing money with your family is a sensitive, power- ful, often tension-filled subject. And while issues surrounding retirement, long-term health care and estate planning relate di- rectly to the relationships be- tween parents and their adult children, families often find it dif- fictflt to talk openly about money. Such matters can raise past re- sentments, rivalries between sib- lings and unresolved relationship issues between family members. According to a 1995 study by Prudential Securities, 89 percent of parents and adult children said they ought to talk about money, though 57 percent say they find it uncomfortable to "talk turkey" about it. "Money represents feelings and emotions, sensitive subjects that many families put off discussing until there is an emergency, such as the need for long-term care or the death of a parent," said Ronna Lichtenberg, senior vice president of Prudential Securities. "Post: poning family discussions about money can be both troublesome and very costly." How can a family better deal with financial-related matters as well as face family members' hopes and dreams? The following tips, offered by Prudential Securities, can help adult children have more pro- ductive discussions with parents: Plan ahead. Don't wait until an emergency, such as the need for long-term health care, arises. Talk when your parents are in good health and good spirits. Clear your thoughts of any resentments or expectations. Re- member, you are raising such is- sues because you care about their welfare. Put yourself in your parents' place. How would you like your children to approach you? What would be your fears? How would you react? -- Think about what you want to say. What's the most thought- ful way to say it? -- Find a reason to introduce the topic. You might mention an article you've recently read or a talk you had with a friend. The topic should be external to your own financial situation, but rele- vant to theirs. Offer a rationale for the con- versation. You might explain that in the day-to-day rush, we i uul NATIONAL CITY BANK YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ABOUT US. "To have someone you can depend on really means a lot. I don't know what we would have done without her." Gilb Schraitl, Oakland City, IN "My whole life I've felt that I have been drawn to do this type of wo;k. And, if you like somethln$, you will excel at it. It's very rewardin$ to be a VNP Caterer. You must have love in your heart; people matter ... I love working for VNP." --/an HoOk,u, VNP Cartjver of the Year, 1995 VdnNGNURSE If you or a loved one needs the specialized home health care we can provide, please call Visiting Nurse Plus today. 4U-0ISl (Evansville) 381-3717 (Princeton) don't always look ahead. Explain how planning for the future would benefit them and the en- tire family. Introduce possible scenar- ios. Present various situations,. beginning with the least threat- ening. Ask about savings and pension plans and how these sav- ings will provide for them for the next 10, 20 or 30 years. Have they thought about the best and worst financial scenarios for the next few decades? -- Remain neutral if contro- versial issues surface. If the con- versation becomes too emotional, postpone it for a while, or con- sider including a family adviser. Sometimes the presence of an "outsider" can keep the discussion objective and less emotional. -- Make arrangements. Once you have discussed your parents' current financial situation, you will need to address the tougher issues with which to be dealt in the event of ill health of one or both of the parents. -- Accomplish four legal and fi- nancial tasks. Taking care of durable power of attorney, a legal will, a health care proxy state- ment and a list and location of as- sets can help ease concerns and fears. There also are techniques that parents can employ to enable them to better voice their con- cerns about money and other fi- nancial matters with their adult children, including: -- Be honest. Be clear about in- tentions about how the estate should be divided and why. This will cause less friction later on. -- Think through your will.'Pe- alistically appraise the skills and strengths of your children by list- ing each one's abilities and prospects, avoiding value judg- ments about your children's lifestyles when possible. By mak- ing such an inventory, you may realize one child may need more financial help than another. -- Decide how you want your estate distributed. Talk with an attorney about the legal and tax consequences of different struc- tures to maximize your assets and limit your liabilities. -- Meet with your children. This is an opportunity to explain your will's provisions and your reasoning behind each bequest. -- Listen to your children's re- actions. -- Consider your response to their reactions. You may want to. incorporate some of what you heard into the will or to make other changes that seem appro- priate after further consideration. -- Write to each of your chil- Serving Evansville And Southwest lndiana With Quafity Care For Over 30 Years... THE GOOD SAMARITAN HOME Come and explore the quality of life that can be yours at this premiere Evansville addressl 18 Residential Apartments 138 Bed Intermediate Care Nursing Facility Mass Celebrated Each Thursday At 10:30 A.M. 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