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August 12, 1994     The Message
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August 12, 1994

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The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana August 12, -- On The Record-- WE'RE SONS OF OUR FATHERS When I grow up to be a man/Like my father was/When I was young/I hope I can make him/So proud of me/Proud enough/To call me his son When parents and teens clash CNS COLUMNIST I What makes these people/So different now/What makes these times so strange/Seems most people got/Most everything they need/How come we see this change Our sons and daughters/Seem to be beyond our control/Their smile is fading fast/They're losing their soul/When will I ever learn/Yet I'm a believer When I was a boy/Did we have more respect/This world seemed/A nicer place to be But time slowly passes/And one day you look around/You hardly recognize what you see Our sons and daughters/Seem to be beyond our control/Their smile is fading fast/They're losing their soul/Now when will we ever learn Yet I'm a believer/They're beyond our control We're all sons of our fathers/Sometimes I feel like mine/And I can hear him say/The things I say/Seems all things/Come around in time Why these things happen/We'll never know/Guess that was then/And this is now/We always knew/That change was gonna come/But I want to go back/Please tell me how Because our sons and daughters/Seem to be beyond our control/Their smile is fading fast/And they're losing their soul/When will we ever learn/Yet I'm a believer Written and Sung by Phil Collins Copyright (c) 1993 by Phil Collins LtdJHit and Run Music Publishing LtdJ Hidden Pun Music Copyright (c) 1993, Atlantic Recording Corp. for the United States and WEA International Inc. for the world outside the United States, United Kingdom and Eire Recently, I received a letter from a reader in Philadelphia. She included the lyrics to Phil Collins' 'Tee're Sons of Our Fathers" and asked me to review the song. This song addresses a topic relevant to many of us, that is, family relationships. Most teens go through times of feeling mis- understood by their parents. Likewise, many parents wonder how they could be wiser in re- sponding to the situations in their teens' lives. Since all families encounter times of conflict and problems, both parents and teens should ex- pect challenges within family relationships. The song is written from a parent's perspec- tive. A father questions whether "our sons and daughters seem to be beyond our control." He also notices that "their smile is fading fast." This father worries that today's teens are "losing their soul." Given all the obstacles both parents and teens face, he wonders "when will we ever learn." Yet, he holds on to his faith in the good that can occur in a parent-teen rela- tionship, stating: "Yet I'm a believer." He also recognizes that "we're all sons of our fa- thers," meaning that much of what goes on in a fam- ily is passed on from generation to generation. Few things impact our lives as much as the relationship between parents and a child. All teens make mistakes. So do all parents: Be- cause of this it is helpful to remember that Jesus taught us that we are here on Earth to support and encourage each other. We can help each other learn from our mistakes. To do this we must give up two attitudes ex- pressed in the song. First, we must realize that it is an illusion for parents to think that they can exert full control over teens' behavior. Teens, like parents or anyone else, need to accept responsibility for their own behavior. Parents and teens can help each other be ac- countable for their choices and actions. Second, parents cannot make their teens hapPY, even when "their smile is fading fast." In fact, no human being can make another happy. That is each person's own responsibility. As parents, we might be empathetic and caring about the hurts in our teens' lives. Yet, each teen must learn what leads to enduring life satisfaction and happiness. Each week, I am privileged to work with manY families. I see how conflicts that are hurtful can be faced and overcome. There are no magic wands, but when parents and teens start working together to create a better family relationship, change occurs. If you seek this kind of change in your family, ask God to guide you on the path of healing. (Your comments are always welcome. Please address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, Rockport, IN 47635.) At the movies: Current reviews NEW YORK (CNS) -- The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference Office for Film and Broadcasting. "The Client" (Warner Bros.) Indifferent thriller from the John Grisham best seller in which an 11-year-old (Brad Ren- fro) with information about a mob murder turns to a novice lawyer (Susan Sarandon) for protection from hit men out to silence him as well as from an aggressive U.S. attorney (Tommy Lee Jones) determined to pry the truth from the fearful boy. Directed by Joel Schu- reacher, the story is moderately interesting and well-acted yet doesn't adequately build enough suspense to qualify as riveting viewing. Some violence, recur- ring menace and profanity. The U.S. Catholic Conference classi- fication is A-Ill w adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 -- par- ents are strongly cautioned that some material may be inappro- priate for children under 13. "Lassie" (Paramount) A stray collie befriends a lonely boy (Thomas Guiry) ad- justing to life in Virginia's Shenandoah Valley, where his Baltimore parents (Helen Shaver and Jon Tenney) are attempting to make a go of a sheep ranch despite stiff com- petition from an unprincipled neighbor (Frederic Forrest). Director Daniel Petrie delivers a postcard-pretty, very senti- mental boy-and-his-dog story in which the brave collie pre- dictably helps save the ranch and brings the family closer to- gether. Fleeting violence and brief menace to children. The U.S. Catholic Conference clas- sification is A-II -- adults and adolescents. The Motion Pic- ture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guid- ance suggested. "North" (Columbia) Flawed comic fantasy in which a neglected 11-year-old (Elijah Wood) wins the legal right to choose new parents, then travels the globe to audi- tion prospective couples only to discover there's no place like home. Though there are sev- eral whimsically funny mo- ments and Wood is splendid in the role, director Rob Reiner relies on some very lame humor as the narrative wends its fitful course into a dumb murder conspiracy against the boy that leads up to the hack- neyed ending. Intermittent menace to a child. The U.S. Catholic Conference classifica- tion is A-II -- adults and ado- lescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. "The Wedding Gift" (Mira- max) Maudlin British drama about a woman (Julie Walters) whose crippling disease com- pletely baffles doctors as it pro- gressively worsens until she finds her devoted husband (Jim Broadbent) a suitable re- placement (Sian Thomas), then dies in an apparent suicide. Di- rected by Richard Loncraine, the fact-based BBC production centers in the pathos of the wife's weakening condition and her determination, abetted by husband, to keep up flagging spirits by making jokes about it, then cops out in the end by sentimentalizing her terminal act of matchmaking. Ambigu- ity of the wife's death, a flash of hudity and occas fanity. The U.S. Catholic ference classification is adults. The Motion Picture sociation of America rating PG-13 -- parents are cautioned that some may be inappropriate for dren under 13. RESTAURANT SPECIALIZING IN DELICIOUS GERMAN FOOD PRIME RIB CHARBROILED STEAQK COUNTRY FRIED CHICKEN SEAFOODS SALAD BAR BANQUET ROOM FOR PRIVATE PARTIES FOR ALL YOUR CAJIN6 NEEDS, CALL 393 3rd. Ave., Jasper, IN ST. BENEDICT GARDEN SCHOOL is accepting enrollment of 3, 4, and 5 year olds. An all-day pre-school where children LEARN TO PLAY... ... AND PLAY TO LEARN School begins August 24, 1994 Extended hours are available For further information, call JudyLyden at 853-5377 III