The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana August 12,
-- On The Record--
WE'RE SONS OF
OUR FATHERS
When I grow up to be a
man/Like my father was/When
I was young/I hope I can make
him/So proud of me/Proud
enough/To call me his son
When parents and teens clash
CNS COLUMNIST I
What makes these people/So different
now/What makes these times so strange/Seems
most people got/Most everything they
need/How come we see this change
Our sons and daughters/Seem to be beyond
our control/Their smile is fading fast/They're
losing their soul/When will I ever learn/Yet I'm
a believer
When I was a boy/Did we have more
respect/This world seemed/A nicer place to be
But time slowly passes/And one day you look
around/You hardly recognize what you see
Our sons and daughters/Seem to be beyond
our control/Their smile is fading fast/They're
losing their soul/Now when will we ever learn
Yet I'm a believer/They're beyond our control
We're all sons of our fathers/Sometimes I feel
like mine/And I can hear him say/The things I
say/Seems all things/Come around in time
Why these things happen/We'll never
know/Guess that was then/And this is now/We
always knew/That change was gonna
come/But I want to go back/Please tell me how
Because our sons and daughters/Seem to be
beyond our control/Their smile is fading
fast/And they're losing their
soul/When will we ever
learn/Yet I'm a believer
Written and Sung by Phil
Collins
Copyright (c) 1993 by Phil
Collins LtdJHit and Run
Music Publishing LtdJ Hidden Pun Music
Copyright (c) 1993, Atlantic
Recording Corp.
for the United States and WEA
International Inc. for
the world outside the United States,
United Kingdom and Eire
Recently, I received a letter from a reader in
Philadelphia. She included the lyrics to Phil
Collins' 'Tee're Sons of Our Fathers" and asked
me to review the song.
This song addresses a topic relevant to
many of us, that is, family relationships.
Most teens go through times of feeling mis-
understood by their parents. Likewise, many
parents wonder how they could be wiser in re-
sponding to the situations in their teens' lives.
Since all families encounter times of conflict
and problems, both parents and teens should ex-
pect challenges within family relationships.
The song is written from a parent's perspec-
tive. A father questions whether "our sons and
daughters seem to be beyond our control." He
also notices that "their smile is fading fast."
This father worries that today's teens are
"losing their soul." Given all the obstacles both
parents and teens face, he wonders "when will
we ever learn." Yet, he holds on to his faith in
the good that can occur in a parent-teen rela-
tionship, stating: "Yet I'm a believer."
He also recognizes that "we're all sons of our fa-
thers," meaning that much of what goes on in a fam-
ily is passed on from generation to generation. Few
things impact our lives as much as the relationship
between parents and a child.
All teens make mistakes. So do all parents: Be-
cause of this it is helpful to remember that Jesus
taught us that we are here on Earth to support and
encourage each other. We can help each other learn
from our mistakes.
To do this we must give up two attitudes ex-
pressed in the song. First, we must realize that it is
an illusion for parents to think that they can exert
full control over teens' behavior. Teens, like parents
or anyone else, need to accept responsibility for their
own behavior.
Parents and teens can help each other be ac-
countable for their choices and actions.
Second, parents cannot make their teens hapPY,
even when "their smile is fading fast." In fact, no
human being can make another happy. That is each
person's own responsibility.
As parents, we might be empathetic and caring
about the hurts in our teens' lives. Yet, each teen
must learn what leads to enduring life satisfaction
and happiness.
Each week, I am privileged to work with manY
families. I see how conflicts that are hurtful can be
faced and overcome. There are no magic wands, but
when parents and teens start working together to
create a better family relationship, change occurs.
If you seek this kind of change in your family,
ask God to guide you on the path of healing.
(Your comments are always welcome.
Please address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182,
Rockport, IN 47635.)
At the movies: Current reviews
NEW YORK (CNS) -- The fol-
lowing are capsule reviews of
movies recently reviewed by the
U.S. Catholic Conference Office
for Film and Broadcasting.
"The Client" (Warner Bros.)
Indifferent thriller from the
John Grisham best seller in
which an 11-year-old (Brad Ren-
fro) with information about a
mob murder turns to a novice
lawyer (Susan Sarandon) for
protection from hit men out to
silence him as well as from an
aggressive U.S. attorney
(Tommy Lee Jones) determined
to pry the truth from the fearful
boy. Directed by Joel Schu-
reacher, the story is moderately
interesting and well-acted yet
doesn't adequately build enough
suspense to qualify as riveting
viewing. Some violence, recur-
ring menace and profanity. The
U.S. Catholic Conference classi-
fication is A-Ill w adults. The
Motion Picture Association of
America rating is PG-13 -- par-
ents are strongly cautioned that
some material may be inappro-
priate for children under 13.
"Lassie" (Paramount)
A stray collie befriends a
lonely boy (Thomas Guiry) ad-
justing to life in Virginia's
Shenandoah Valley, where his
Baltimore parents (Helen
Shaver and Jon Tenney) are
attempting to make a go of a
sheep ranch despite stiff com-
petition from an unprincipled
neighbor (Frederic Forrest).
Director Daniel Petrie delivers
a postcard-pretty, very senti-
mental boy-and-his-dog story
in which the brave collie pre-
dictably helps save the ranch
and brings the family closer to-
gether. Fleeting violence and
brief menace to children. The
U.S. Catholic Conference clas-
sification is A-II -- adults and
adolescents. The Motion Pic-
ture Association of America
rating is PG -- parental guid-
ance suggested.
"North" (Columbia)
Flawed comic fantasy in
which a neglected 11-year-old
(Elijah Wood) wins the legal
right to choose new parents,
then travels the globe to audi-
tion prospective couples only to
discover there's no place like
home. Though there are sev-
eral whimsically funny mo-
ments and Wood is splendid in
the role, director Rob Reiner
relies on some very lame
humor as the narrative wends
its fitful course into a dumb
murder conspiracy against the
boy that leads up to the hack-
neyed ending. Intermittent
menace to a child. The U.S.
Catholic Conference classifica-
tion is A-II -- adults and ado-
lescents. The Motion Picture
Association of America rating
is PG -- parental guidance
suggested.
"The Wedding Gift" (Mira-
max)
Maudlin British drama
about a woman (Julie Walters)
whose crippling disease com-
pletely baffles doctors as it pro-
gressively worsens until she
finds her devoted husband
(Jim Broadbent) a suitable re-
placement (Sian Thomas), then
dies in an apparent suicide. Di-
rected by Richard Loncraine,
the fact-based BBC production
centers in the pathos of the
wife's weakening condition and
her determination, abetted by
husband, to keep up flagging
spirits by making jokes about
it, then cops out in the end by
sentimentalizing her terminal
act of matchmaking. Ambigu-
ity of the wife's death, a flash
of hudity and occas
fanity. The U.S. Catholic
ference classification is
adults. The Motion Picture
sociation of America rating
PG-13 -- parents are
cautioned that some
may be inappropriate for
dren under 13.
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III
