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The Message
Evansville, Indiana
July 1, 1994     The Message
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July 1, 1994

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8 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana July -- On The Record-- - When someone you date lies to you NEVER KEEPING SECRETS I never meant to lie to you/But I needed me an easy ouUI couldn't face/The truth with you/Because I didn't want/To lose my clout/I always have been/Good to yon/Girl I promise/That nothing has changed/Momen- tary insanity/Must be the reason/I did you that way/So now I'm telling/Everybody that I/That I know I was a fool/To take a chance/Of losing you/And girl/I can't take losing you CNS COLUMNIST . (REFRAIN) So I'm never keeping secrets/And I'm never telling lies/I want to make it up to you/No I'm never keeping secrets/Girl I swear it's all be- hind/I only want to be with you I didn't want to lie to you/But I didn't want/To let you down/It never did occur to me/Sooner or later/That you would find out/You know how much/I care for you/And I would never want/To cause you pain/I know that there is no excuse/How could I ever/Treat my baby that way/That's why I'm telling/Everybody that I/That I know that I was a fool/But I don't give a damn about it/'Cause I want to get back with you/ (REPEAT REFRAIN) If you want to go/I want you to know/Girl I understand it/'Cause I love you more/I know you can't ignore/That I will die for you/And lay down my life for you/Girl I want to see/You standing next to me/Girl I apologize/For each and every lie/I want you to be/The only one for me/For. ever and ever and ever/And ever and ever Written and Sung by Babyface Copyright (c) 1993 by Sony Music Enter- tainment Inc. Off the same CD as Babyface's smash "And Our Feelings," this song describes what happens when we lie to someone important to us. The guy in the song tells his girl that "I never meant to lie to you, but I needed me an easy out." He pleads that "nothing has changed" and claims his actions were a momentary insanity. He promises her that he's "never keeping se- crets," and "never telling lies" again. Unfortunately, his assessment is inaccurate. In fact, a lot has changed. Lies destroy trust. Trying to minimize the in- cident is not the way to heal the hurt his decep- tions cause. To his credit, he states, "I apologize for each and every lie." Certainly, this is the place to begin healing, with an honest apology not wa- tered down with excuses. Next he might choose to validate how the lies have hurt the trust between them. Trust and re- spect are love's two essential foundations. Lies create mistrust. When this occurs, there is no quick way to restore trust. If both people want to re- store trust, they need to take time to talk honestly about their feelings. The guy could also benefit from sons why he lies. Most people do not lie j sake of hurting another person. When a person ex- plores the actions that led up to a lie, he or she is likely to discover feelings, questions, fears or doubts that have been avoided and denied. : Yet, there are instances where lying sive that it represents manipulation.arid abuse. individual may be out of control, not knowing from a lie and unaware or not caring lying does to others. In such instances the other person's and understanding may not be enough. The who lies may need professional counseling. And dating relationship, the other individual some hard decisions about whether this z can survive. Whatever the relationship, telling a lie is a seriouS mHto=ever, in many cases, taking full responsibility_,, s for the lie, rebuilding trust and using this mist[v a pathway to deeper understanding has allowea ,v to survive such an injury. If you are hiding something from someone you 10re by any type of lie or deception, ask God to give.yOu the courage and guidance to turn a mistake znw v opportunity for growth. (Your comments are always welcome, ple e address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, R e port, IN 47635.) CTNA: What's available Family Security: Welfare and Work, a panel discussion, will be transmitted on the Catholic Telecommunications Network of America, Thursday, July 7, at 6 p.m. Among the panelists on the hour- long program will be Wendell Primus from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and Je- CTNA suit Father Fred Kammer, president of Catholic Charities USA. The CTNA program on Family Security is one of the Wash- ington Area Lecture Series, aired on Thursdays through August. For more information about CTNA, contact Paul R. Lein- gang, office of communications, Diocese of Evansville, (812) 424-5536 or (800) 637-I73I. Or Call (800) 432-CTNA. SCHNEIDER ii iii HEATING & A/C, INC. RESIDENTIAL. COMMERCIAL. INDUSTRIAL 118 W. FRANKLIN STREET EVANSVILLE, IN 47710 011 -r-1. (812) 428-2665 . JEFF SCHNEIDER I I iiii i II iii Support Catholic schools by using the Tradition Card. A percentage of each purchase you make using the Tradition Card goes to support Catholic education. Call 464-3322 or 1-800-777-3949 I extension 3322 for details. Issued by Citizens Bank. I I I USCC offers capsule reviews of current rn NEW YORK (CNS) -- The following are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S.Catholic Conference Office for Film and Broadcast- ing. "Freedom on My Mind" (Tara) Compelling documentary re- calls the civil rights struggle in the early 1960s to register black voters in the segregated state of Mississippi. Produced and directed by Connie Field and Marilyn Mulford, the tautly edited archival footage, intercut with frank commen- tary by those who were ac- tively involved inthe move- ment, provides a chilling portrait of institutionalized racism as well as heartening testimony to the power of corn- I Peoples l IIlB00 Trust / Company / SOUTH MAIN STREET " / P.O. BOX 191 I LINTON, NDIANA 4744"I I ,'- HAUBSTADT L ELECTRIC Licensed Bonded Insured Industrial, Commercial and Residential P.O, Box 405 TONY NAZARIO Haubstadt, IN 47639 812-768-5207 1-800-766-2787 RESTAURANT SPECIALIZING IN DELICIOUS GERMAN FOOD PRIME R CHARBROILED STEAQK COUNTRY FRIED CHICKEN SEAFOODS SALAD BAR BANQUET ROOM FOR PRIVATE PARTIES FOR ALL YOUR CATTING NftDS, C4LL 1 482"264000 m j .*,/. ,e2s. 393 3rd. Ave., Jasper, IN II mitted individuals to effect change. Scenes of racial vio- lence. The U.S. Catholic Con- ference classification is A-II adults and adolescents. Not rated by the Motion Picture Association of America. "I Love Trouble" (Touch- stone) Tiresome, often tasteless, ro- mantic comedy in which rival Chicago newspaper reporters (Julia Roberts and Nick Nolte) join forces in more ways than one to uncover a billion-dollar corporate scam. Directed by Charles Shyer, the result is a romantic misfire set in a weak comedy whose only compensa- tions are some minor-league thrills. Some stylized violence and scenes of menace, much sexual innuendo and a few in- stances of profanity, The U.S. Catholic Conference classifica- tion is A-III -- adults. The Mo- tion Picture Association of America rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. "A Place in the World" (First Look) Slow-paced drama set in rural Argentina where a 12- year-old boy (Gaston Batyi) tries to understand the com- plex relationship between a visiting Spanish geologist (Jose SaCristan) and his idealistic parents (Federico Luppi and Cecilia Roth) who run a farm- ing cooperative with an activist nun (Leonor Benedetto). Be- lievable characterizations and well-realized themes of per- sonal and social committment shine through producer-direc- tor Adolfo logue-clogged work. Misguided act of rio scene, of dru instance of The U..S. Catholic classification, A-II! Not rated by the ture Association of "Wyatt EarP" Bros.) Violent, overlong, themed Western i luctant lawmen (Kevin Costner) brothers (Linden Michael Madse) do shooter justice towns of the Old joined by buddy (Dennis Quaid), down and willfully Clanton-McLaurY g dared defy them. all impressive, LaYrence Kasdan' treatment of the centers in the as a remorsely col( ure who is ultima to heroically tr stature. Much justification creet bedroom nude photo and an rough lung uage. Catholic tion is O The Motion Picture.: of America rating parents are some material may priate for children MILLER & "A family can