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Evansville, Indiana
June 18, 1993     The Message
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June 18, 1993

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8 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana June 18 ---On The Record--- When love is overdependent I HAVE NOTHING Share my life/Take me for what I am/Because I'll never change/All my colors for you/Take my love/I'll never ask for too much/Just offer you love/In everything that you do. [ By CHARLIE MARTIN CNS COLUMNIST I don't really need/To look very much farther/I don't want to have to go/Where you don't follow I don't want/To hold it back again/This passion inside me/I can't run from myself/There's nowhere to hide/Don't make me close one more door/[ don't want to hurt anymore/Stay in my arms if you dare/Must I imagine you there/Don't walk away from me/l have nothing,/Nothing, nothing/IfI don't have you. You see through/Right to the heart of me/You break down my walls/With the strength of your love/I never knew love/Like I've known it with you./Will the memories survive?/Or what can I hold on to? (REPEAT SECOND VERSE) Written by David Foster and Linda Thompson Sung by Whitney Houston Copyright (c) 1987, 1992, 1993 by Arista Records Inc. I received a letter from Patty Smyth. I re- P i viewed her hit "No Mistakes" a couple of months ago. In 16 years of writing this column, I've received hundreds of letters from readers, but never one from a recording artist. I was quite surprised and very appreciative of her critique of "No Mistakes." She disagreed with my view that we often make mistakes as we try to love others. Relating her comments to her loving rela- tionship with her daughter, she stated in her let- ter: "I love her more than anything and if I don't do it perfectly, I am doing the best that I can. It's called love imperfect but pure, and to me there are no mistakes when vour aim is true." I understand wha(Ms. Smyth says. Yet, when I look at my own life, I can see when my intention to love was true but my decisions or ac- tions were not. I didn't know enough about be- having in a respectful, loving way, and I made mistakes. I consider Whitney Houston's "I Have Noth- ing" another example of how we make mistakes in love, even though our intention is good. The cassingle is Ms. Houston's off her six- times platinum disc "The Bodyguard," the soundtrack from the film of the same name. The person in the song is concerned about losing her romance. She wants her man to "take me for what I am," and whatever happens, she pleads, "Don't walk away from me, I have nothing, nothing, nothing, if I don't have you." No matter what form love takes, it is a mis- take to make a relationship one's whole life. Such a decision puts us in a dependent stance toward another. In these circumstances, we might give up our own strengths. For example, we do things just to keep the relationship. We may even act in ways that vie' late our own values. Further, we sometimes ac- cept disrespect from another as a way to avoid conflict, and thus protect ourselves from the fear of the other person walking out of our lives. Even if we call it love and even if our intern tion is good, such dependency is a mistake. It is not the way to enhance self- satisfaction or build a loving, enduring relationship. As I said at the end of my column on Ms. Smyth's "No Mistakes," most of us do make mistakes in our attempts to love. Yet, we can turn these mistakes into opportunities to learn how to change our lives in a positive and con- structive way. Maybe you would like to express your ideas on this issue of mistakes in love. Write to me and I'll try to share your insights with readers in future columns. (Your comments are always welcome. Please address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, Rockport, IN 47635.) Pope holding up well in Spanish trip SEVILLE, Spain (CNS) -- Pope John Paul II moved slowly through three days of ceremonies in the southern Spanish heat, but the Vatican said the pope was holding up well. At age 73 and a year after major surgery, however, the pontiff was clearly not push- ing himself during a visit that took him up and down altar steps, into stuffy meeting rooms and through large crowds of enthusiastic faith- ful. The Vatican had to reassure Spaniards that the pope was doing just fine soon after he arrived June 12. Spanish TV had commented that the pope looked very tired in the mid- 90s temperatures and noted that at times he even ac- cepted a steadying hand. I blm Gmmm fast 189.901 to: lebrms, p.O. Box 3609, lqGw llmv, CT Main Street i "LtVlNG "I'RUaT" Congratulations to s J, Zton, on the occasion of his 50 years of pstty service Cowraulations, best ,mishes, our prayers and 9rat#,sl for your I 9 as paaor of ,St. ,...q.thon Church, St. ,...%,tho,,. rom ,St. ,.,.qnthony ahioners, ,...Tather ,oseeh ,..7. rbacher, 9)astor, ,5t. ,...nthony, c[ 47575 Knights of Columbus L00FE INSURANCE ANNUNITIES AND IRA's JAMES FRANCE Evansville, IN (812) 479-5119 Serving Knights and their families for over a century I PASTORAL ASSOCIATE POSITION AVAILABLE Holy Trinity, a culturally diverse parish locat- ed within inner-city Indianapolis invites you to join our pastoral team. Your primary responsibilities will include providing leader- ship in the parish evangelization, religious education, and community outreach pro- grams. Send inquiries by July 15th to: Search Committee Holy Trinity parish 2618 West St. Clair Street Indianapolis, IN 46222. Support your pro-life org00 MILLER & MILLER e SINCE 1888 Schum Monuments, Inc. DALE, INDIANA 937-4921 Prair ie iving Ce! Buehlers I.G.A. "THE THRIFTY HOUSEWIFE'S SOURCE OF SAVINGS" QUALITY FOODS AND MEATS Also Huntingburg and Oakland City KREMPP LUMBER WHOLESALE BUILDING I TRIBUTION YARD 482-1961 BECHER & KLUESNER FUNERAL HOME Downtown Chapel, 214 E. 7th North Chapel, 33rd Newton COM Ph: 482-1125 NRTIVITY 3635 Pollack AVe ISRREL & EGYP T 11 Day Pilgrimage, April 1994 . i[: Fr. Henry Kuykendall, 476-71 WRNOERING CRTHOL Unbaptized & Unchurched"/ Find a "HOME" at Nativity ; Call Dottle Schnapf FLER MRRKET July 10 & 11 -- 476-1257'