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June 14, 1996     The Message
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.' The Message ,--- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana -- On The Record-- When love isn't the answer Editor's note: Some words from the following song have been omitted. ONLY LOVE (THE BALLAD OF SLEEPING BEAUTY) By CHARLIE MARTIN CNS COLUMNIST You don't know why rm crazy/I don't know why you're blue/You messed with my head/You messed with the dead/Now rm gonna mess with you/I don't know why you're lazy/rm so in love with you/What's God gonna see?/Who's God gonna know?/When's God gonna help us through? What am I fighting for?/If I win I lose my life/I need you more and more/To break my will tonight. (REFRAIN) Only love can set us free/Only love can bear the truth/Only love can bring us peace/Only love can save me and you/Only love can pu- rify/Only love can conquer fear/Only love can testify/Only love can make a miracle of life. Oh Daddy what I've been thinking/Only heaven knows/What's Ma gonna see?/Who's Ma gonna blame?/When's Momma gonna carry you home? I have the urge, I have the mind/I have the i touch, I drank the wine/I want the loss, I want the pain/I want to start my life again/I can't define, I can't forget/I can't restrain the feeling of regret/I know the dead, I'm not alone/I made my bed, I want to let you go. What am I frightened for?/If I speak I lose my mind/You've broken down the door,/And there's no place to hide. (REPEAT REFRAIN) Written and Sung by Sophie B. Hawkins Copyright (c) 1994 by Sony Music Entertainment "Only Love" is Sophie B. Hawkins' latest hit. The song is offher new "Whale" CO, the disc that produced her smash, "As I Lay Me Down." The "Only Love" cassingle describes what occurs when sexual and mental manipulation run a relation- ship. Out of this mess, the woman still believes that "only love can set us free, only love can bear the truth, only love can bring us peace, only love can save me and you." Love would not have created this situation. What is needed is not love but honest reflection about why she entered this relationship, followed by a quick exit from the romance. I hope you won't find yourself in a I that makes you feel as crazy as this to feel. Yet, what if you find yourself even though the problems are large, love them and save your romance? Love, of course, is a powerful healing force However, a relationship built on manipulation not based on love. Love cannot magically fix a. of respect, fairness or trust. Rather, love such qualities once they are established. If these qualities are missing in the first no amount of romanticizing the relati move the problems. The first step is honesty, perhaps even honesty. It can be difficult to admit that a is not what you want it to be It can be difficult to admit that your dating partner doesn't treat you like you want to be treated. Leaving such a situation takes courage and means that you genuinely value yourself. It is als0 the only way you can avoid losing the dream of : what you seek in true love. When you are a teen, it is a mistake to t love will save a harmful relationship, to discover away. Give yourself a new opportunity the type of future that you truly desire. : (Your comments are always wel dress: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, 47635.) At the movies: Current capsule reviews NEW YORK (CNS) -- The following are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for Film and Broadcasting. Ratings from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) are also given. "Heavy" (CFP Distribution) Slow-paced character study set in a rural New York tavern whose aging owner (Shelley Winters) hires a young part- time waitress (Lie Tyler) who soon fascinates the owner's overweight, slow-witted son (Pruitt Taylor Vince) but only irritates the tavern's regular waitress (Deborah Harry). Writer-director James Man- gold develops the slight situa- tion in a fashion some will find ponderous, though others may appreciate for focusing on the tenuous nature of human rela- tionships. Sexual situations, excessive drinking and occa- sional rough language. The USCC classification is A-III -- adults. Not rated by the MPAA. "Ma Saison Preferee" (Fil- mopolis) A lonely, hostile doctor (Daniel Auteuil) tries to recon- nect emotionally with his es- tranged married sister (Cather- ine Deneuve) when their acid-tongued mother's failing health requires them to decide what to do with her. Director Andre Techine explores in exquisite detail the painful, ever-shifting love-hate relation- ships between parents, chil- dren and siblings, holding out hope but no easy answers in a character study whose concerns are universal. Subtitles. Fleet- ing bedroom scenes, brief nu- dity and occasional rough lan- guage. The USCC classification Retreat guide blends dark night and morning light A Retreat with Gerard Man- ley Hopkins and Hildegard of Bingen -- Turning Pain into Power, By Gloria Hutchinson, St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1615 Republic St., Cincinnati, Ohio, 1996, 124 pages, paper- bound, $8.95. Reviewed by MARY ETTA KIEFER, O.S.B. Message Staff A retreat is quiet time for spiritual growth, and the usual period is seven or eight days, guided by a director with a sin, gle focus or theme. At first glance it is hard to imagine two such different retreat leaders as Hopkins and Hildegard work- ing in tandem. Hopkins, Jesuit priest, musician and poet, whose brooding temperament often led him into melancholy, was not acclaimed in his life- time, and his poetry was re- jected by publishers. Unlike Hopkins, Hildegard was highly respected for her "spirituality of delight" and her visionary wis- dom, and she was valued dur- ing her life, as a prophet, musi- cian, physician, and great woman of the Church. The combination works, how- ever, wrapping the Hopkins gift of faithful endurance through struggle with the joy of Hilde- gard in her view of the oneness of Creator and Creation. Per- haps the retreat works well be- cause of the model Hutchinson uses for all of her retreat series: seven days of experiences in be- coming acquainted with the di- rectors and gaining from their insights. From day one to day seven, the fare is poetic, but not painful; seeking, but not stud- ied. The closing thoughts are steps for the transition fro re- treat into thematic living. This volume is food for the journey for young and old. About the author: Gloria Hutchinson, who is editor of the A Retreat With series, has au- thored a number of books, among which are Six Ways to Pray from Six Great Saints, Praying the Way: Reflections on the Stations of the Cross, and Praying the Rosary: New Reflec- tions on the Mysteries. The re- treat series includes such direc- tors as St. Th6rse of Lisieux, Sts. Francis and Clare of Assisi and Thomas Merton. Message readers will be pleased to know that Gloria Hutchinson has also contributed to One Caring Place, St. Meinrad, publisher of Care Notes, Prayer Notes and Prayer Walking. Available from publisher or religious book stores every- where. .45 PtJl4 Vincennes Bicknell Sandborn Monroe City Princeton Patoka Member F.D.I.C. FLOWERS & MORE Complete Floral Service FREE--"[ SERVICING ALL -WIDE ] AREA HOSPITALS VERY -J & FUNERAL HOMES (812) 424-8931 1-800-545-7296 Bob Jacobs IOOO West Franklin St., Evansville is A- III -- adults. Not rated by the MPAA. 'qhe Phantom" (Paramount) A masked jungle man (Billy Zane), believed to be immortal, must prevent an evil million- aire (Treat Williams) from se- curing three magical skulls in whose hands the power to rule the world rests. Director Simon Wincer's comics-based movie set in the 1930s is a colorful adventure tale of dashing heroes, mustachioed villains and desperate damsels in dis- tress. Some stylized violence and frequent menace. The USCC classification is A-II -- adults and adolescents. The MPAA rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. "The Rock" (Hollywood) Violent action thriller in- volves the down-to-the-wire ef- forts of an FBI chemicals ex- pert (Nicolas mer Alcatraz prl Connery) to tled military hero from detonating rockets aimed at v San FranmS Michael Bay'S lative macho ates murderoUS drawn-out violence as cessive violence, scene and guage. The tion is O -7- The MPAA r stricted. 301 MAIN ST." vINCENNES' !! 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