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June 7, 1996     The Message
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June 7, 1996

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"O Ju The MeSsage ":fdr ' Catholics Of Southwest(rn'lndiaha -- On The Record-- CHAINS Stay free from emotional bondage Your arms are warm/But they make me feel as if/They're made of cold, cold steel/A sim- ple kiss like a turnin' key/A lit- tle click/And the lock's on me/Can't move my arms/Can't lift my hands By CHARLIE MARTIN I pretend I can always leave/Free to go wher- ever I please/But then the sound/Of my des- perate calls/Echoes off these dungeon walls/I've crossed the line from mad to sane/A thousand times and back again/I love you baby I'm in chains Should have known/Passin' through the gate/That once made, I would not escape/I never thought this is where I'd be/But baby, baby, baby, look at me/Baby, baby, look at me/I'm in chains Baby, baby, I'm in chains Written by Arena/Werfel/Pensweck Sung by Tina Arena Copyright (c) 1996 by The Tina Arena Publishing Designee Ah! The joy of falling in love! Feels just like being locked away in prison, right? I hope not, but that is the expe- rience of the woman in Tina Arena's "Chains." The cassingle is offher new CD, "Don't Ask." A glance through the lyrics re- veals that this woman has confused love with emotional possession. She describes how a simple kiss is "like a turning key, a little click and the lock's on me." She tells herself that she can al- ways leave, that she is free to go wherever she pleases. Yet, she feels that "the sound of my desper- ate calls echoes off these dungeon walls." She can't decide if she's mad or sane, but she knows this for sure: "Look at me, I'm in chains.". Perhaps all of this is merely melodramatic. Yet it raises a question: When does what is supposed to be love cross over into emotional control and posses- sion? Certainly, genuine love has no resemblance to that. If you are wondering if you are in love or in possession, consider these questions: 1. Am I able to share my real self with my dat- ing partner? When answered •affirmatively, you are able to express your needs, opinions and feelings. Your partner may not always agree with your per- ceptions, but they are respected. 2. Do I find myself making choices or using be- haviors that I really don't want? If so, you are allow- ing the other person to control your life. Love never attempts this, but emotional possession thrives 3. Does my partner use jealousy to from seeing other friends? Even if you h not to date others, you are likely to enjoy friend-. : ships with many other people, including the opP0: site sex. Such friendships are healthy strate that trust, not possessive control, is your romance. 4. Do I feel that I am a better person this relationship? A relationship based on love is likely to help you grow more generous and sionate toward others. Consequentl) about who you are and how you are In contrast, being controlled by another leads minished self-esteem. 5. Is God part of this relationship? comes from God. Loving relationships our spiritual selves with others. A sure is how the love in the romance spills ou! help others. On the other hand, sense of God's feeds on fear, so it narrows one's presence. When it comes to love, it makes "I love you baby, I'm in chains." If you are in ing relationship that feels this way, leave tionship now. (Your comments are always welcome. dress: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, 47635.) .... At the movies: Current capsule reviews • i  II I I // COMMUNICATION II NEW YORK (CNS) -- The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for Film and Broadcasting. Ratings are also given for the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). "Dragonheart" (Universal) Medieval fantasy in which an honorable knight Dennis Quaid), disillusioded after the prince he trained becomes a tyrannical king, joins forces with a mammoth talking dragon (voice of Span Connery) to lead a peasant revolt. Director Rob Cohen's noble-minded story is remarkable for its magnificent, computer-generated beast, but is otherwise a flat-footed spec- tacle hampered by terribly corny dialogue. Stylized battlefield vi- olence. The USCC classification is A-II -- adults and adoles- cents. The MPAA rating is PG- 13 -- parents are strongly cau- tioned that some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. "Eddie" (Hollywood) When a New York Knicks fan (Whoopi Goldberg) is named coach by the basketball club's devious new owner (Frank Lan- gella), it's no joke as she pro- ceeds to transform a losing team into a winner. Directed by Steve Rash, the thin formula comedy gets few laughs with worn-out cliches and its premise of a woman NBA coach yields, more smirks than smiles in a role wasting the comic talents of its star. Sexual situations and ref- erences, many coarse expres- sions and an instance of rough language. The USCC classifica- tion is A-III -- adults. The MPAA rating is PG-13 -- par- ents are strongly cautioned that some material may be inappro- Author examines Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and You -- Unraveling the Gospels, by William J. O'Malley, Thomas More, a division of Tabor Pub- lishing, 200 E. Bethany Dr., Allen, Texas 75002-3804, 1996, paperback, $10.95, 263 pages Reviewed by MARY ETTA KIEFER, O.S.B. Message Staff L Probably no short course in Scripture has covered so many facets of learning as are ad- dressed in this book. The author introduces a new method of opening three Gospels to exam- ine and compare their seeds, and his treatment of the texts calls for the reader to become a sleuth. "Detectives are humble people who don't jump to con- clusions," O'Malley says, and he invites the reader to explore lit- ii Ed. L. Lee Mortuary I:ItEN('II I)EI,L'XE IiRESSIN(; MADE IN SOUTHERN INDIANA 101 North Meridian Street Washington, IN 254-3612 eral and figurative language, and shows how the gospel writ- ers used the familiar literary de- vices to drive home their, in- tended meanings. The reader is asked to try out these mecha- nisms in ordinary life situations, learning how to dive more deeply into the intention of the writer and into modern applica- tions of the passage. One of the hallmarks of this book is the way it urges the reader to ignore preconceptions and the interpretations of oth- ers. It is this quality that makes the book ideal for guiding youth and young adults in their explo- ration of the gospels. O'Malley has found that knowing is not the enemy of be- lieving. In this book he states, ". • . true believers, not just the baptized, but the convezted, feel a thrill of understanding about being Christian which others have yet to comprehend." Most reassuring of all is the dedication of this book: "To Jack C. Boyle, S.J. who taught me that you can know and still believe." About the author: William J. O'Malley, S.J., is a teacher of theology and English at Fordham Preparatory School. He has written a score of books, among them, Sacraments: Rites of Passage, and he has pub- lished over 80 articles. Available from religious book- stores and from the publisher. FOR COMPLETE ELECTRICAL SERVICE FISCHER ELECTRIC INC. SCHNELLVILLE, IN 389-2418 00-OOYI.B priate for children under 13. "Welcome to the Dollhouse" (Sony Classics) Painfully funny story of a geeky 11-year-old suburban girl (Heather Matarazzo) and her ef- forts to become popular, which are undermined by her mom, siblings and taunting class- mates. Writer-director Todd Solondz insightfully timentally captures grader's nig htn which a around c ter. 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