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May 31, 1996     The Message
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" The Message -- for Catholics Of Southwestern Indiana -- On The Record-- NOT GON' CRY Surviving difficult times While all the time that I was lovin' you/You were busy lovin' yourself/I would stop breathin' if you told me to/Now you're busy lovin' someone else/Eleven years out of my life/Besides the kidsJI got nothing to show/Wasted my years, a fool of a wife/I shoulda left your ass long time ago (REFRAIN) Well I'm not gon' cry/I'm not gon' cryJI'm not gon' shed no tears/No I'm not gon' cry/It's not the time/'Cause your not worth my tears I was your lover and your secretary/Working every day of the week/Was all the job when no one else was there/Helping you get on your feet/Eleven years of sacrifice/And you can leave me/At the drop of a dime/Swallowed my fearsJStood by your side/I shoulda left your ass a thousand times (REPEAT REFRAIN) I know there are no guarantees/in love you take your chances/But somehow it seems un- fair to me/Look at the circumstances/Through sickness and health/Till death do us part/These are the words/That we said from our hearts/So now when you say/That you're leaving me/] don't get that part By CHARLIE MARTIN CNS COLUMNIST / (REPEAT SECOND VERSE) (REPEAT REFRAIN) Written By Babyface Sung By Mary J. Bilge Copyright (c) 1995 By ECAF Music/Song Songs IncJ Fox Film Music Corp. (BMI) How many hits can one CD have on the charts at a time? I don't know what the record is, but the soundtrack to "Waiting to Exhale" has done well with three releases in one recent week's listings. Joining Brandy and Whitney Houston is Mary J. Blige's "Not Gon' Cry." The song describes the end of a marriage from a wife's point of view. In her anger and hurt, she says: "Besides the kids I got nothing to show, wasted my years, a fool of a wife." She realizes that "there are no guarantees. In love you take your chances." Yet when she looks at the circumstances, she says, "It seems unfair to me." She wonders what happened to their promise: "Through sickness and health, till death do us part. These are the words that we said from our hearts." Her current feelings are part of grieving this loss in her life. There are no quick fixes or short- cuts through such pain. One can only hope she will find the support, care and guidance that can bring her emotional healing and restore her by helping her see that her life still holds promise. This woman is right when she says there are no guarantees. Yet, the song clarifies points that teens and young adults need to consider as they get more involved in relationships. 1. When it comes to love, go slowly. In fact, go very slowly! Learn as much as you can about your- self, your goals and your values. Then, measure :: them carefully against your dating partner's ac- tions and decisions. Don't give up on yourself in order to have something that looks like .... ally is not. 2. Recognize when to set boundaries. Say no when your dating partner's requests violate your own standards. Perhaps the 11 years of sacrifice mentioned in this song reflect many times when the woman did not stand up for herself. the other person will respect your boundaries. 3. Remember that a relationship, even averY: good one, should'only be part of your life. Be fo- cused on goals that will be there tionship continues or not. 4. Being in an ongoing relationship likq riage is very challenging. shared love is to be sustained, both need God's help. Thus, some practice of shared spirituality needs to be part of the Again, doing this is not a guarantee spirituality -- participation in the prayer; meditation -- does lay a foundation ting through a relationship's difficult and ........ times. :: Certainly, many more ideas for healthy relationships could be listed. always remains a risk. Yet, we can take safeguard its cherished presence in our liveS. (Your comments are always welcome. address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182, IN 47635.) At the movies: Current capsule reviews NEW YORK (CNS) -- The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for Film and Broadcasting. Ratings are also shown for the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). "The Arrival" (Orion) After tracking extraterrestrial radio signals, a maverick as- tronomer (Charlie Sheen) risks his life in unraveling a massive conspiracy by aliens disguised as humans prepared to colonize the planet. Directed by David Twohy, the supremely silly plot and Sheen's wooden, wide-eyed intensity combine to limit the movie's appeal to undemanding sci-fi fans. Stylized violence, fleeting nudity, profanity and an instance of rough language. The USCC classification is A-III -- adults. The MPAA rating is PG- 13 -- parents are strongly cau- tioned that some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. "Barb Wire" (Gramercy) Cheesy exploitation tale set in 2017, when the United States is racked by a civil war of no partic- ular consequence for a busy nightclub owner (Pamela Ander- son Lee) until the murder of her brother causes her to side with the rebels. Directed by David Hogan, the murky proceedings are transparently ridiculous, es- pecially those in which the dour heroine teases men'with her body before blowing them apart with assorted weaponry. Mindless vi- olence, sexual situations, fleeting nudity, profanity and coarse lan- guage. The USCC classification is O -- morally offensive. The MPAA rating is R -- restricted. "A Boy Called Hate" (Dove) An alienated youth (Scott Caan) rescues a cynical teen- ager (Missy Crider) from being raped by shooting the attacker, then both become fugitives from the law after killing a highway patrolman they mistakenly as- sumed was going to arrest them. Writer-director Mitch Marcus' shrill road movie is of minimal interest save for a redemptive ending which underscores the grave consequences of violent behavior. Sporadic violence, a discreet sexual encounter and much rough language. The U.S. Catholic Conference classifica- tion is A-IV -- adults, with reservations. The Motion Pic- ture Association of America rat- ing is R -- restricted. "Flipper" (Universal) Forced tospend the summer with his beach-bum uncle (Paul Hogan) on an island in the Book Review: Inside the Sunday Gospels New Commentaries for the Year of Matthew, Year A, By Peta Sherlock, E.J. Dwyer Pty Ltd., Australia, 1995, Soft-cover, $9.95, 136 pages Reviewed by MARY ETTA KIEFER, O.S.B. Message staff Inside the Sunday Gospels is a welcome volume of brief com- mentaries bringing the author's own view of the sacred texts -- a view which neither fuses the per- spectives of the ancient and the modern, nor drops the reader into the era of the early Church without a hint of modern appli- cation. Her treatment of the gospel calls the reader to set aside biases and assumptions and let the text speak for itself. Apparent throughout these commentaries is the author's in- timate knowledge of the gospel of Matthew. She exposes the writer's sense of urgency and ex- citement in the power of his story, and she does so in the con- text of our daily lives. She warns the reader, "Watch then! If God is coming, norms will be turned upside down. If you prefer your religion a little calmer than that, Matthew -- from beginning to end -- suggests you try another religion." These companions to the Sun- day gospel readings are good for private reflection, but discussion and Bible study groups would also welcome the Inside the Sun- day Gospels experience. About the author: Peta Sherlock was born in Australia and has been a teacher of religion and a school chaplain. She is an Anglican priest in charge of a city parish in Melbourne, Australia and is earning her doctorate in scrip- ture, hermeneutics, and preach- ing. Her first volume of com- mentaries (on Luke, year C), has been a favorite of preachers, other commentators and discus- sion groups. Scriptures in the Year A book are based on the Revised Common Lectionary. Available from Morehouse Publishing (U.S. distributor), 871 Ethan Allen Highway, Ridge- field, CT 06877. Ph.: (203) 431- 3927; FAX: (203) 431-3964 Florida Keys, a lonely 14-year old (Elijah Wood) befriends an or- phaned dolphin whose life is threatened by a villain (Jonathan Banks) dumping toxic waste in the local waters. Writer-director Alan Shapiro's environmentally themed update of the 1963 movie and subsequent TV series treads water with a listless story line de- spite likable performances and colorful underwater sequences. Brief menace and a fleeting pro- fanity. The USCC classification is A-I -- general patronage. The MPAA rating is PG -- parental guidance suggested. "I Shot Andy Warhol" (Orion) Dramatizing a minor but highly publicized part of the tur- bulent 1960s is this picture of Valerie Solanas (Lili Taylor), a radical feminist who lived on the fringes of New York's trendy counterculture but whose para- noid perceptions of its rejection boiled over in 1968 when she se- riously wounded pop artist Warhol (Jared Haqris). Directed by Mary Harron, the result is a vivid re-creation of one of the more bizarre fragments of the 000000mpf'e DONUT BANK, 2128 Finlt Ave .............. 426-2311 5 N. Green River Rd ........ 479-0511 1031 Diamond Ave ......... 426.-0011 210 N. St. }oseph Ave ....... 42b.]0] 1 1950 Washing|on Ave ....... 477-271 | Mon.- Sat. 5am-Spin, Sun. 5am-I pm period's the treatment frame of critical of the and behavior situations, drug usage language. The tion is O Not "Mission: (Paramount) Framed as a U.S. spy evade capture tify the real a list of on the tor Brian De tion thriller comp action swift escapist stylized profanity. The tion is A-III MPAA rating ents are some priate for c "So right on D] cOG