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April 2, 1993     The Message
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April 2, 1993
 

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10 The Message Monthly -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana April 2 -- On The Record -- Handle conflict with cooling off time I'M STILL ON YOUR SIDE ,t Emotions run high/And the words are strong/Heard the screen door slam/And you were gone/You can't win a fight/You don't understand/I wake up alone/And reach for your hand t By CHARLIE MARTIN CNS COLUMNIST (REFRAIN) Like a cold winter in December/We don't see eye to eye/But I want you to remember/I'm still on your side/When you need me girl/I'm still on your side As sure as the river runs to the sea/There will have to be times/That we both disagree/Some- times I feel like shouting/It's like a frenzy in my heart/Basically I'm living on doubt/I'm still on your side/When you need me girl/I'm still on your side/I'm still on your side/I'm still on your side I looked up to see you standing there/Well you just look right through me/Somebody tell me I'm dreaming/That you don't care/Because you turn around/And walk out that door (REPEAT REFRAIN) Written by Barnes, Cain and Vallance Sung by The Heights Copyright (c) 1992 by Capitol Records Inc., Spelling Television Inc. i Be it pop music or television, the Heights are doing well. Music from their television show is once more on the charts with the release titled "I'm Still on Your Side." The song describes a difficult time in a relationship. A painful conflict has occurred, leaving the future of the romance in doubt. In the guy's words, "emotions run high" and "the words are strong." We don't know what the fight was about. The guy "heard the screen door slam," and tells the girl, "you were gone." Still, he wants her to know, "When you need me girl, I'm still on your side." As the song states, in every relationship "there will have to be times that we both dis- agree." It is not conflict that destroys relation- ships. Rather, it is how we handle conflict. When approached with fairness and respect for each other, conflict can actually bring a cou- ple closer. Consider these suggestions when faced with conflicts within relationships: 1. Before anything else, cool off. Don't try to talk through a problem while feeling the inten- sity of anger. Go for a walk, listen to music or do any- thing that helps you diminish the energy within the conflict. This step alone would help a rela- tionship survive a difficult and angry episode. 2. Once cooled off, resolve to be fair in how you approach the other person. Remember, this other person is someone you love! Refuse to en- gage in name-calling or any putting down of the Programs for Catholic viewers transmitted on cable's EWTN and VISN channels Among the special Easter programs available on televi- sion are the following pro- grams from EWTN. "Were you there" -- the events of Christ's passion, 30 minutes, Sunday, April 4 at 7 p.m. CDT; Wednesday, April 7, at 9 a.m. CDT; Friday, April 9, at 9 p.m. CDT; and Saturday, April 10 at 2:30 a.m. CDT. "Choral Meditation on the Passion" w seasonal music performed by the Choir of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., Friday, April 9, 1:30 (live) and 10 p.m. CDT (taped). "Commemoration of the Lord's Passion" -- from the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., with Archbishop Agostino Cacciavillan presid- ing, 90 minutes, Friday, April 9, 2 p.m. (live) and 10:30 p.m. CDT (taped). "Michaelangelo's Pieta" -- a musical and photographic essay, 30 minutes, Friday, April9, 5:30 p.m. CDT. "Stations of the Cross with the Holy Father" -- 90 min- utes, Friday. April 9, 6 p.m. CDT. "The Easter Vigil" -- from the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., with Archbishop Agostino CacciavillarA, two hours 30 minutes, 7 p.m. CDT. "Easter Mass and Message from St. Peter's Square" -- Pope John Paul II is the cele- brant ann homilist, two hours 30 minutes, Sunday, April 11, 6 a.m. CDT. Nine weekly programs pro- duced for Catholic viewers are cablecast each week on the VISN channel. The Bilingual Mass, from San Fernando Cathedral, San Antonio, Texas, in English and Spanish, on Sundays from noon to 1 CDT, repeated Mondays from I to 2 a.m. Catholic Viewpoint, a 30- minute interview series on the Catholic Church's re- sponse to critical issues, Fri- days at 6 p.m., Tuesdays at noon, and Thursdays at 1 a.m. CDT. Produced by the Catholic Telecommunications Network of America. Christopher Closeup, a 30- minute program featuring sto- ries of those who express their faith in action, Tuesdays at 5:30 p.m., Thursdays at 6:30 a.m. and Saturdays at 5 a.m., CDT. Produced by the Christophers. God Squad, a half-hour dis- cussion co-hosted by Msgr. Tom Hartman and Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tuesdays at 1:30 p.m., Thursdays at 7:30 a.m , and Saturdays at 2:30 a.m. CDT. Produced by Telicare, Inc. Insight, Hollywood person- alities illustrate the essence of Christian beliefs and val- ues through 30-minute dra- mas, Wednesdays at 5:30 a.m. and Sundays at 5 a.m. CDT. Produced by Paulist Produc- tions. Jesuit Journal, 30 minutes of interviews, documentaries, reviews and music to chal. lenge viewers to consider cur- rent religious and social is- I III IIII I sues, Wednesdays at 6 a.m., Fridays at noon, and Tues- days at 1 a.m. CDT. Produced by the Sacred Heart Program. Prose and Cons, a 30- minute program that goes be- hind the headlines to explore ethical and moral issues in the news, Thursdays at 6:30 p.m., Mondays at 12:30 p.m., and Wednesdays at 1:30 a.m. CDT. Bob Mondello reviews movies. Produced by ITP/Paulist Communications. Sunday Mass, a weekly half-hour celebration of the Catholic Mass from St. Peter's Cathedral, Scranton, Penn. Sundays at 1:30 and 7:30 a.m. CDT. (Also broadcast on WTVW TV Channel 7, Evans- ville, at 10 a.m., CDT.) Today's Life Choices, a 30- minute discussion series ex- ploring bioethics, world peace, the influence of reli- gion on culture and other contemporary social issues, Tuesdays at 6 p.m., Thurs- days at midnight, and Satur- days at 1 a.m. CDT. Produced by Golden Dome Productions, University of Notre Dame. A weekly series of interest to Catholics and others is "Bless Me Father," a half- hour British comedy series telling the story of two eccen- tric priests who poke good clean fun at organized reli- gion and each other, is cable- cast on Tuesdays at 11:30 p.m., Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m., and Fridays at 2:30 p.m. CDT. Produced by BBC, London.0 I MILLER & MILLER ",4 family name you can trust" 424-9274 II I III I I II I I I II 'A Time to Build' Sunday on I00IN TV 9 Dramatic stories of faith and survival are pro Time to Build," a one-hour documentary on Channel 9, the public television station in Evansville, Sunday, April 4 at 3 p.m. Central Time. Produced by Martin Doblmeier of Journey tions, and funded in part by the Catholic Campaign, "A Time to Build" examines the endurance the Catholic Church under 40 years of communist tion and oppression and also looks at the challenges the Church today. The program explores four countries -- Poland, nia, Slovakia and Hungary -- and examines the ship that each country had with its government. i BUFFET Sunday, April 11, 1993 11:00 a.m. -- 3:00 p.m. Adults $12.95 Senior Citizens $11.95 Children (3-10) $5.95 Children (under 3) Free Leg O'Lam (rubbed with mint, slow roasted and served with mint jelly) Sugar Cured Ham (with pineapple and clove) Sole Florentine (spinach, shrimp and crabmeat topping, a baked sole) Fettucini Primavera (wide egg noodles surrounded by mush- rooms, zucchini, summer squash, peppers and other garden fresh vegetables) Whipped Potatoes with gravy. Baked Potato, California Blend Vegetable. Corn O'Brien Steamed Broccoli with Caflic, Assorted Breads. Cheese/Fruit Display. Vegetable Crudite with dip. Cakes, Pies, Mousse, Cookies, Jello after 12 noon RADISSON INN, EVANSVILLE , Hwy 41 North --- 867-7999 Reservations Suggested/ (Your comments are always welcogld Please address: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Rockport, IN 47635.) other person. Practicing respect toward yoursel other individual is the second most important :ii step in handling conflict effectively. 3. Work toward a win-win resolution of the: i problem. By this I mean don't look just to your own way. Likewise, don't give up your :: point of view. Instead work toward a mise, while of course protecting your values and beliefs. When couples stick to this goal their rela- tionship always wins, even though neither may get fully what he or she wanted. 4. If you reach an impasse in tr a compromise, bring in a mutually trust person. He or she might be able to see solutions :i that your own emotions currently block. Such a step gives a strong statement about how much each of you cares about the love you share.  5. Remember to stick to the problem at hand. Reaching a fair solution is nearly ir ble if either person brings up hurts from Perhaps these repressed problems to be discussed, but for now stay focused on solving the current situation. Pray for guidance. Ask God to guide yol your partner in ways that bring out the best both of you. Allow God's spirit to be a source healing within your relationship, supporting the love that both of you chc