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Evansville, Indiana
March 15, 1996     The Message
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March 15, 1996

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On The Record:-- t SOLITUDE Tim was a good friend/Yeah, was a brother of mine/We were imaginary/Comic book super- heroes/Kids wasting time/We were prisoners of our youth/We were going strong/Till the day he was taken away/For something he did wrong/Tim came 'round the other day/And boy he had some/Stories to tell/His mama kept him/Locked up in a rehab/Although the doc- tor/Said he was well/He said yeah I've been/Through the anger/And the anger toward my morn/Just tell what was it like/To go to your prom (REFRAIN) Thank you Morn/For fixing my clouded broken mind/But excuse me if/I seem a little rude/While I was missing my childhoodJMy brother and my prime/You enjoyed the conve- nience/Of my solitude Well, growing up these days/Just ain't easy/And the kids/They're doing the best/That they can/So Mama you'd better think twice/Be- fore you lock your kid up/And throw away the key?Cause soon your little boy/Is going to be a man (REPEAT REFRAIN) Tim left town yesterday/He left me with these words/He said yeah/I know this life's/Got a lot The Message m for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana By CHARLIE MARTIN i CNS COLUMNIST Healing family wounds to give/But my childhood is gone/And I'm not afraid of dying/I'm gonna grab this world/And learn how to live (REPEAT REFRAIN) Written and sung by Edwin McCain Copyright (c) 1995 by Harrington Publishing (ASCAP)/Atlantic Recording Corp./WEA International "Well, growing up these days just ain't easy, and the kids they're doing the best that they can." These lyrics from Edwin McCain's "Solitude" speak a truth. Indeed, the challenges of being a teen in the 1990s are large. I agree that most teens are putting forth an effort to deal with these challenges. Most young people want to develop in a way that re- flects their God-given dignity. The song is an account of a teen-ager's view- points -- his belief that a parent over-reacted to his behavior. All we are told is that Tim was taken from his home for something he did wrong. As a consequence, "his mama kept him locked up in a rehab, although the doctor said he was well." What results is lots of hurt and anger and, as Tim says, "I was missing my childhood, my brother and my prime." While the song depends on a melodramatic ex- aggeration, it does point to pain too real in some families. Misunderstanding and over-reaction by both teens and parents can lead to hurt that can erode the love between them. Did the parent over- react in this instance? Did the teen over-react? We probably don't really know from these in themselves have an angry tone. In my counseling ministry I have there are no quick, magic answers to fix such tions. But here are some beginning needed healing process. 1. Parents and teens must see comes from staying stuck in the and anger, even righteous anger, do lationships. 2. Both sides must admit doing and accusations do not heal hurt. The the teen need to recognize how each person tributed to the painful status quo. 3. Trust and respect are the ingredients quired for changing the situation. a given. Broken trust can only be rebuilt and through small steps. ways treating each other fairly. 4. It helps to get professional healing process. Most of us get stuck responses in our family relationships. ,4 fessional can suggest ways to create better ways of relating to each other. Many of the families I am privileged with also have a foundation in when we seek God's guidance. God we gradually rediscover mutual caring that exist between parents and their teens. A relationship is a treasure. If it your family, start acting now to rediscover it, (Your comments are always we! come. dress: Charlie Martin, RR 3, Box 182 .................. 47635.) At the movies: Current capsule reviews THE CATHOLIC COMMUNICATION CAMPAIGN New York (CNS) -- The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for Film and Broadcasting, as well as rat- ings applied by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). "The Birdcage" (MGM-US) Comic complications ensue when the son of a gay Miami nightclub owner (Robin Williams) invites his fiancee and her ultra-conservative parents (Gene Hackman and Dianne Wiest) home for din- ner and the gay man's lover (Nathan Lane) shows up in drag, pretending to be the lad's mother. Producer-direc- tor Mike Nichols' faithful re- make of 1979's "La Cage aux Folles" pokes fun at flambuoy- ant homosexuals and those who shun them while stress- ing the vulnerable humanity of both groups. Sympathetic depiction of the gay lifestyle, many sexual references and intermittent rough language. The USCC classification: A- IV, adults, with reservations. MPAA rating: R -- restricted. "Down Periscope" (20th Century Fox) Thin comedy about a Navy officer (Kelsey Grammer) whose career is over unless he can turn an old diesel subma- rine and its motley crew into a winning team during war games against a superior force. Directed by David S. Ward, the predictable plot about misfits and underdogs has a few good laughs but far more yawns. Sexual innuendo, bathroom humor and in- stances of profanity and rough language. USCC rating: A-III, adults; MPAA: PG-13 -- par- ents strongly cautioned that some material may be inap- propriate for children under 13. "Fargo" (Gramercy) A debt-ridden Minnesota car dealer (William H. Maey) hires two thugs to kidnap his wife and split the hefty ran- som her wealthy father would pay, but all goes horribly awry, resulting in several murders doggedly investi- gated by a small-town chief of police (Frances McDormand). Finding black comedy in this loosely fact-based tragedy, filmmakers Joel and Ethan Coen chillingly depict earnest small-towners caught up in shocking violence, although justice eventually prevails in the unlikely form of a folksy, very pregnant police officer. Recurring gory violence and much rough language. USCC rating: A-IV, adults, with reservations; MPAA: R -- re- stricted. "If Lucy Fell" (TriStar) Vapid romantic comedy about two socially inept room- mates (Sarah Jessca Parker and Eric Schaeffer) who have made a pact to'kill themselves if they haven't found true love by age 30. Also written and di- MUENSTERMAN'S FIRESTONE SERVICE, INC. 1400 w. Franklin Evansville, IN 424-5000 f Allison's SALES, SERVICE, & " RENT TO OWN Appliances - Electronics G.E. Zenith RCA Washington -- 254-1586 DEWIG BROS. PACKING CO. FRESH MEAT BEEF AND PORK HAUBSTADT, INDIANA rected by Schaeffer, the premise is embarrassingly dumb but the charmless char- acters are dumber still, with some crude humor making matters even worse. Sexual innuendo, vulgarity, profanity and rough language. USCC classification: A-III, adults; MPAA R -- restricted. "Land and Freedom" (Gramercy) Joining the communist- backed republican forces in their fight against Franco's fascist-backed army in the 1936 Spanish Civil War, an idealistic young Briton (Ian Hart) finds violent infighting between the Stalinists allied with the cause. Director creates the umentar matizing political munists lution. lence, se much rough A-IV, adults, tions. Not RES' HAUBSTADT ELECTRIC Licensed, Bonded, Insured Industrial, Commercial and Residential P.O. Box 405 TONY NAZARIO Haubstadt, IN 47639 812-768-5207 1-800-766-2787 YOUR MILLER & MILL] "Funeral The Legion of Mary invites all those who mother, Mary, to a special gathering oft and Active Legionaries called an 2 P.M. EST, Sunday, St. Mary's 609 Cherry St., Evansville, Homilist: Archabbot Please come and make tion to our Blessea This 75th anniversary year marks the diamond jubilee ofe ii::!