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March 6, 1998

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4 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana When is it time to leave? By CHARLIE MARTIN Catholio New Service HOW'S IT GONNA BE? I am only pretty sure/That I can't take it any- more./Before you take a swing/l wonder/What are we fighting for?/When I say out loud/I want to get out of this/I wonder/Is there anything/I'm going to miss?/How's it gonna be/When you don't know me?/How's it gonna be/When you are sure I'm not there?/How's it gonna be/When there is no one there/To talk to about/How it's gonna be?/'Cause I don't care./How's it gonna be?/When we used to laugh/There's a shouting match,/Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,/A silence I can't ignore./Like.../The hammocks and the door- ways/We spent time in/Swing empty./Don't see the lightning/Like last fall/When it was always/About to hit me./l guess that's how/It's gonna be.FWant to get back in again/The soft drive of oblivion. Written by Jenkins/Cadogan Sung by Third Eye Blind Copyright (c) 1997 by Elektra Entertainment Group, a Division of Warner Communications Inc. for the United States and WEA International for the world outside of the United States THE CATHOLIC Third Eye Blind has gained recognition on both Billboard's Mainstream Rock and Top One Hundred Pop charts. Their current hit "How's It Gonna Be" demonstrates their straight-ahead rock style. The lyrics are interesting. The song describes a person's struggle to break off a romance. The person says, "When I say out loud I want to get out of this, I wonder, is there anything I'm going to miss, how's it gonna be?" The answer appears to be yes, there is much that he is going to miss. As in most relationships, there has been real closeness. He remembers. However, now, "when we used to laugh, there's a shouting match." Hurt, sadness and disappointment often follow the end of a relationship. Consequently, it takes courage to recognize that the promise of joy once experienced and shared is no longer possible. So how does one know that the time has arrived to move out of a dating relationship? There are many indications. Here are a few questions to consider: 1. Are you losing your own self-identity? The clearest sign of such a loss is when you are more interested in keeping your boy/girlfriend happy than in sticking to your own values. When this occurs, your behavior and choices no longer align with what you really believe. 2. Do you have large and frequent mood swings? Every relationship has ups and downs, and how we feel about dating someone will change. However, if being in this relationship is more like a ride on a I (Alfred Molina and Rosana Pastor) assassinate one of their country's oppressors. Directed by Robert Domhelm, the British production is less a political drama than a character study in which Rea gives a convincing performance as a man who has lived by the gun and cannot change his destiny to die by the gun. Hard-edged violence, sex- ual situations, brief nudity and occasional rough language. The USCC classification is A-III R adults. The MPAA rating is R restricted. NEW YORK (CNS) Q The fol- lowing are capsule reviews of movies recently reviewed by the U.S. Catholic Conference (USCC) Office for F'flm and Broadcasting. Ratings are also given by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). "The Break" (Castle Hill) Absorbing story of an IRA gunman (Stephen Rea) who escapes from an Ulster prison, takes refuge in New York, then uses his terrorist expertise to help Guatemalan refugees "Burn Hollywood Burn" (Hollywood) Satirical movie-within-a-movie in which an enraged director (Eric Idle) steals the master neg- ative of his movie after the pro- ducer (Ryan O'Neal) recuts his film. Directed by Alan Smithee and written by Joe Eszterhas, the movie's inside jokes self-serv- Not just sexual purity world-class roller coaster, it's time nent detour. " 3. Are your preferences For example, if you clearly interest in a suggested respected? Does your dating partner ! late you to get his Or her way? 4. Is your dating partner sex? When someone does this, it selfishness and lack of concern for leave the relationship. 5. Do you frequently find dating Others? Attraction to others is r when you are in a good ongoing desire to date others you are not emotionally read) tionship. You need to let go of the ship and be who you really are. Other questions could also be ments. Most times, the answer .... be?" is "difficult" after you leave especially in the short term: Yet, concern is your future. Indeed, there may be parts of the! that you miss. However, of a new and better future because ficulty that you now will fac( guide as you live through Your comments are always Charlie Martin, 7125 W 200S, ingly lionize creative types who refuse to compromise their artis- tic vision. Brief stylized violence, sexual situations, constant rough language and occasional profan- ity. The USCC classification is A- III u adults. The MPAA rating is R --- restricted. "Dark City" (New Line) Mysterious sci-fi thriller in which a man (Rufus Sewell) dis- covers aliens have manufac- tured his memories and his physical surroundings in order to steal his soul. Directed by Alex Proyas, the nightmarish tale's sleek visuals compensate for the movie's murky logic. Occasional violence and brief nudity. The USCC classification is A-III -- adults. The MPAA rating is R u restricted. "I Love You... Don't Touch Me!" (Goldwyn) Slender tale of a 25-year-old Jewish virgin (Maria Schaffel) who finally succumbs to a slick womanizer (Michael Harris) while her platonic best friend (Mitchell Whitfield) impatient- ly waits in the wings. Writer- director Julie Davis plumbs sin- gle female angst with some earnestness but the narrative's narrow focus on its characters' sex lives is ultimately tiresome. Sexual situations with brief nudity, some profanity and recurring rough language. The USCC classification is A-III adults. The MPAA rating is R restricted. "Kissing a Fool" (Universal) Slack romantic comedy in which-an engaged playboy (David Schwimmer) wondering if his fiancee (Mill Avital) will be faithful asks his best friend (Jason Lee) to try and seduce her. Director Doug Ellin's romantic triangle is utterly pre- dictable its occasional: rou MIAA rating "The about a (C in love, a tic interests; DiCillo entertainmeat ing" and USCC adults, with: MPAA A Plea for Purity: Sex, Mflrriage and God; by Johann Christoph Arnold. Plough Publishing House, Spring Valley Bruderhof, Farmington, PA 15437, (800) 521- 8011, 1996. Paperbound, 157 pages, $I3.00 BOOK REVIEW By MICHAEL H. EPPLER Director, Office of Youth & Young Adult Formation Scripturally contexted, ecu- menical, and forthrighL this handbook for Christian Marriage is a must read for all engaged couples seeking meaning in their marriage. From biblical begin- , Arnold lays out a text that is engaging, easy to read, and rooted in the thought and life of I purity of heart, soul and mind, Unfortunately, many in soci- ety have placed an emphasis on demanding "sexual purity" with our youth and young adults. Such emphasis does not teach the fullness of human sexuality, and it lends itself to the end-point of depicting sexuality as "bad" or "not healthy". It is possible to teach sexual morality with adolescents in an authentic and genuine manner from the perspective of a sacramental marriage. This book, while contemporary Catholic moral teaching. But buyer, beware! This text challenges common and con- temporary notions of sexuali- ty and marriage, in that itcalls for God to be the primary cen- ter of all human connections. Arnold calls for a purity of heart, soul, and mind in the primary relationship of mar- riage and he does so without offending the call to celibacy as a single or consecrated per- son in the world. upholding the dignity of the human person, cradles sexual: ity and married relationships in the holistic view of creativ- ity, procreativity, and person- al fulfillment that is within in the reach of a giving relation- ship of a Triune God. This publication is also for adults and parents who wish to teach sexual ethics and morality to their adolescents and young adult children, based on the authentic perspective of a sacra- mental marriage. The book fOCUSeS their York, Vatican Doctrine I lU I II I Ul I I COMPLETE INSURANCE SERVICE Auto.* Home[ Fire & Life! Your Personal Service Agent James L. Will Ins. Agency Inc. 1925 IN, Franklin Street 425-3187 III I I I I!1] I III II , ik!  ding gift!)' not have matur, TFs Box 68 Montgomery, Donald l, Traylor President