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The Message
Evansville, Indiana
February 16, 1996     The Message
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February 16, 1996

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The Message m for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana Taking the time to make a difference-- I" -- As clear as the calendar on the wal The answer to the question was on the calendar. The question came up at a re- cent meeting of our Message staff. We were planning for future issues, looking ahead at the various ele- ments of the paper. What we found was a larger than usual number of announce- ments for wedding anniversaries. Our newspaper, and many newspa- pers everywhere, publish such items. A golden anniversary is cer- tainly a significant event in the life of a couple, and in the entire ex- tended family. Often there are gatherings of families and friends at churches and halls. So, the question was, why are there so many an- nouncements coming in? The answer, at least in part, was that Valentine's Day was upon us. Valentine's Day for many couples was more than a time to exchange cards. They exchanged vows, on or near this fabled day. Now that Valentine's Day has passed, it is the perfect time to ask a few more questions. What hap- pens in the days after Valentine's Day? What hap- pens in the years aider the early times of hearts and flowers? When love is new, it's easy to be spontaneous and search out ways to please your partner, says By PAUL R. LEINGANG EDITOR Cathleen Gray, assistant professor of social work at The Catholic Uni- versity of America. She says spouses often lose the energy to work at their romances. Judging from the number of golden wedding anniversaries which are celebrated at this time of the year, it is obvious that many spouses have found ways to main- tain and deepen their relationships with each other. Not everyone succeeds. Gray offers some advice for spouses who are concerned about a relationship which may have grown stale and quiet. She offers five suggestions: Instead of asking, "why can't my spouse be more exciting?" take the initiative and launch some- thing new in the relationship. Make it a surprise lunch date or rent a movie you saw on one of your first dates. When you're going home from work, have a plan. Think of a story, an idea, a compliment, some- thing that will add to your partner's day. Women put on lipstick before they go out the door. Men comb their hair. Do this before going home to your partner. Never go two weeks without having time alone. That weekend getaway to a bed and breakfast might be out of reach right now, but couples can al- ways make time to take a find a pretty spot to watch the sunset. Send a love letter. Include a note in spouse's briefcase, purse or gym bag. is that you'll be thinking of him or her day. Make sure you give a hug hello and good-bye hugs, but warm remind you why you fell in love in the first Whether you are married or single, child or somewhere in between, reflect on the important dates of calendar. Talk with friends or family out how they observe important dates dar. For those of us who have about getting mushy, offer opportunities to express our greater openness than usual. Valentine's Day has come and gone, lationships Take the time to plan just one action card. Write a note. Send e-mail to sunset with someone important. Tell her. Telephone your brother. Questions and comments are Christian Family Movement, P.O. Iowa 50010. Washington TV goes on trial again, charged with violence in the first By MARK PATYISON Catholic News Service WASHINGTON (CNS) -- Vi- olence on television has taken another body blow, to use a term that would be familiar to the genre. It came in the form of an cable TV-financed study con- ducted by four universities and released Feb: 7. And it gave plenty of evidence to Catholic and ethical commentators to hand down yet another damn- ing indictment of violence on the tube. For instance, 73 percent of all violent acts take place without repercussions. And humor which "tends to trivialize or un- dermine the seriousness with which violence is regarded," ac- cording to the study -- occurs in 39 percent of all violent scenes on TV. While it should be noted that the cable industry only funded the study and did not direct its methodology or results, the study nonetheless bit the hand that fed it. "Premium cable channels present the highest proportion of violent programs, and pro- The MESSAGE 4200 N. Kentucky Ave. Evansville, IN 47711 Weekly newspaper of the Diocese of Evansville PutJILshed weekly except last week in December by the Catholic Press of Evansville Pubsher .............. Bishop Gerald h. Gettelfinger EOtor ..........................  ............ Paul R, Leingang Production Technician ................ Joseph Dietrich hdvng .................................... Paul Newland Staff Writer ............................. Mary Ann Hughes Address all communications to P.O. Box 4169, Evansville, IN 47724-0169 Subscription rate: $17.50 per year Single Copy Price: $.50 Entered as 2nd class matter at the post office m Evansville, IN 47701. Publica- tion number 843800, Postmaster: Return POD (orms 3579 to Office of Publication  1995 Pre of Evamv grams with numerous violent interactions," it said. The study also bent some myths. Few reality-based pro- grams show violence, but those that do show it in high concen- trations. And slightly less than one-third of music videos con- tain violence, substantially below TV on average. Music videos also tend not to depict attractive perpetrators and tar- gets of violence, or humor- based violence. If the goal is to get less vio- lence on TV, the steps used to reach that goal will be key, said Henry Herx, director of the U.S. Catholic Conference Office for Film and Broadcasting. The V-chip, a computer chip to be installed in televisions which allows parents to block out violent shows, is not a panacea, said Sen. Paul Simon, D-Ill. "It's going to take years be- fore the V-chip is a reality in most people's homes," Simon said. And "the very homes that need it the mcst are the ones that aren't going to use it." Barry Forbes, executive di- rector of the Alliance for Com- Sex education: Returning the role to parents To the editor:. I am writing this letter re- garding the Vatican's recent 90 page document concerning sex education. After about 25 years of many grievances and com- plaints by Catholic parents about sex education programs, the Holy See has responded. On Dec. 8, 1995, the 90 page document was signed and on Dec. 20, 1995 Cardinal Lopez Trujillo, president of the Pontifi- cal Council for the Family made it public and printed it first in Italian and planned for the En- glish printing in January. It's title is "Truth and meaning of Human Sexuality." The fundamental purpose of the document is to return to parents their role in the forma- tion of their children in all that concerns the truth and meaning of human sexuality. After carefully studying and examining many sex ed pro- grams, the Pontifical Council notes that, "withthe intentions of supplying the lack, schools have stepped forward to provide sexual information, but this in- formation is often not well grounded in the moral and human context and thus pro- duces a veritable deformation of conscience." Sexual education understood as formation in chastity aims to, "preserve in the family a positive atmo- sphere of love, virtue, and re- spect for the gifts of God, espe- cially the gift of life." Even though this document from the Holy See does not explicitly ban classroom sex education pro- grams, it's /nain emphasis is that the sex education of chil- dren is such an important duty that the Vatican has designated parents as the primary instruc- tors regarding sex education. Yes, the wheels of the church grind slowly but surely. Mr. James Likoudis, president emeri- tus of Catholics United For The faith had lobbied the Holy See of behalf of C.U.F. members for more than twenty five years for such a statement. Mr. Likoudis said, "All the restrictions found in this document with regard to the pedagogy and content of sex edu- cation programs demand that such widely used programs as See LETTERS page 5 munity Media, a Washington- based association of com- mu- nity-based television producers, said the newest study "proved once again that when the citi- zens of this country program their own material, it is bereft of violence and sexual innu- endo." The part of the study done by the University of California at Santa Barbara seems to agree: "It will take time for the televi- sion industry to accept that the American viewing public will enjoy programming with a lower amount of violence." Jeff Chester, executive direc- tor of the Washington-based Center for Media Education, long an advocate for better chil- dren's television, said the study "documents that there's an ever-increasing amount of vio- lence on TV," making it "very harmful from the public's and the children's perspective." It further "documents why there needs to be the V-chip." He voiced frustration, however, at the television industry's "con- tinuing addiction to violence." Television is a global busi- ness, Chester said, and the United States is a leading ex- porter of cultural goods. "Vio- lence sells globally," he added. Herx said the first step at curbing TV industry key is creating a: who will have watch the gramming itored .... they will find Simon has industry past three got involved in issue. "In Con careful When you tent (issues), Amendment said. Television broke down in said. "The the problems wake of that bre added, including public and scrutiny. According to spokesman for Media, efforts to' use of sex and trying to clutch balloon: spot and you another. "(When) the velop these the sex, they lent content, Bishop's The following activities and events are schedule of Bishop Gerald A. Gettelfinger: i 3"'