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January 16, 1998     The Message
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January 16, 1998

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1998 The Message -- for Catholics of Southwestern Indiana 1 1 A spouse's 00zerbal abuse By FATHER JOHN DIETZEN Catholic News Service Question: Scripture says we should forgive oth- . seven times. Does the other person have ' f0rgweness first, as we do in confession? .... if a husband continually and cruelly his wife and children verbally, and she tells they are but he ignores their feelings, behavior and never apologizes, must him? ave feelings for a man who treats way? Can't this affect a marriage? AnSWer:. Of COurse it can. Deliberately living a abuse toward one's family demonstrates disrespect and disregard for the feel- s. It eats away at any relationship. with the sacrament of penance to be real, the person who own" the sin, admit that he Wrong and be committed to try to heal the it. responsibilities is tO help the other a COnscious awareness of the consequences of hurtful actions and motivate a change. Beyond saying that, i(is difficult to be specific about what you might do. Many factors need to be considered: the nature of the abuse, its causes, its effects on you and the other victims, ages and reac- tions of the children, and so on. There is, however, no virtuous forgiveness or goodness in deliberately continuing a situation that is seriously demeaning and emotionally destructive, if not even physically dangerous. Our love for everyone involved, including the person dging the hurting, requires that we do every- thing we can to change the circumstances. Does the individual require medical or psycho- logical help? How can space be made between the victims and the abuser? Do the victims have the guidance they need to deal with the problem in a healthy way? These types of questions are important for you. Marriage vows are meant to be kept, and that includes forgiveness. If your spouse is deliberately abusive and hurtful, however, part of keeping those vows is to do whatever you can to change the cir- cumstances that are hurting him and everyone else. As I said, you will want to weigh many con- cerns. Pray for the wisdom to do that well. Question: I have been a Catholic all my life. Many years ago I married a divorced Lutheran man. It was by a justice of the peace because I felt the rela- tionship, was unstable. We divorced two years later. I've been married now for many years to another divorced man. This was before a judge. Articles I have read about my rights to receive Communion are contradictory. One priest told me I'm still married to my first (Lutheran) husband. What should I do to i'eceive Communion? I know I'm missing something important when I attend Mass, which I do regularly. (Indiana) Answer: From the information you give, it seems some action relating to your present marriage will probably be needed by your diocesan tribunal. It will not help to go into detail here, but please go to your parish priest or one of the others in your area (there are several), explain the situation and ask him to help you. A free brochure, in English or Spanish, outlining marriage regulations in the Catholic Church and explain- ing the promises in an interfaith marriage, is available by sending a stamped, self-addressed envelope to Father John Dietzen, Holy Trinity Church, 704 N. Main St., Bloom- ington, Ill. 61701. (Questions for this column should be sent to Father Dietzen at the same address.) RCIA retreat Saturday Beaedictine Father aretre,, Matthias Neuman will lead sP0tls'-t tor catechumens, candidates, sponsors, at St .RCIA team members and parish staff, h0r'n n Church, Daylight Saturday, Jan. 17, "> a.111, to noon.  o , site changed board meeting of Teens Encounter held in the rectory basement at St. ,, Jan. 19, at 7:30 EST. the TEC community are welcome. Church to have Mission Weiss, a Passionist missionary, will at St. Theresa Church, Evansville, Sat- gh Thursday, Jan. 29. 7 p.m. will be on the following Conversion; Monday, Love in aesday, Sin and Formation of Con- T" esday, How to Get in Touch with ., hUrsday, What It Means to be a ay. The sacrament of Reconciliation will follow each evening presentation. Daily sessions at 9 a.m. include Mass and an extend- ed homily, followed by an opportunity for Sacra- mental Reconciliation. The morning themes will be distinct from the evening presentations. Marriage preparation weekend planned "Together for Life: A Weekend Retreat for Engaged Couples," will be presented at Sarto Retreat House, Evansville, Feb. 13, 14 and 15. For details, contact Kristel Riffert at Catholic Charities, (812) 423-5456. Bloomfield, Linton churches to celebrate renewal The faith communities of Holy Name Church, Bloomfield, and St. Peter Church, Linton, will cele- brate a joint five-day Parish Renewal, Feb. 1-5. The principal instruction sessions will take place at Holy Name Church. Preaching the Renewal will be Father John Mark Ettensohn, an Oblate of Mary Immaculate from Belleville, Ill., where the Oblates operate the Nation- al Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows. The theme will be "The Symphony of Our Faith." The daily schedule will include Mass at 8 a.m. with a talk afterwards; a holy hour begins at 2:30 p.m., and the principal instruction in Holy Name Church will be at 7 p.m. For more information, call Holy Name Church (812) 384-8415, or St. Peter Church, (812) 847-7821. Knights give to Marian Day School ..... The St. Wendel Commandery 282 of the Knights of St. John presented a cheek for $3900 to Ma Day School, according to the monthly newslette Regi- mental Reporter. Money was raised at a golf scramble, Message subscription drive begins next week New and renewed subscriptions will be accept- ed at the Message, following Message Sunday, observed Jan. 24 and 25. Subscriptions are $18.50. Envelopes will be inserted for subscribers in the Jan. 23 issue. Catholic Center to close for King Day The offices of the Catholic Center will be closed Monday, Jan. 19, the national day set aside to honor the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Bible study groups growing in nation's workplaces FARRELLY JR. Service Conn. (CNS) peo- are increas- the Bible as in pro- of God. are Bible study lesses th e number Not strictly tied to the com- panies where they are located, small groups of people are meeting on lunch breaks, or before the start or at the end of a workday to study Scripture and talk about their faith. Some groups are structured while others allow prayer and discussion to occur sponta- neously. General Signal Networks, an international computer manu- facturer based in Shelton, has a Moment, weekly newspaper Church in Northcentral Indiana. skills, page layout and graphics. Photoshop. Experience preferred. n college grad with relevant degree. )r, RO. Box 1603, Lafayette, IN 47902. Ude a cover letter with your rOsumO. Bible group of six men who encourage each other to grow in their faith and also to evange- lize in business settings, said Tom Foth. Word about the Bible study has spread through the compa- ny and even come to the atten- tion of the top brass, said Foth, an engineer with General Signal. In an interview with Fairfield County Catholic, newspaper of the Bridgeport Diocese, Foth recalled that when he was attending a business meeting in Munich, German); a top execu- tive who knew about the study group asked about it during the meeting. "This was right in front of the representatives from the client comp,'my, so it was a great oppor- tunity to evangelize," Foth said. The General Signal group has been meeting for two years and includes a Catholic, an Episco- palian, a Lutheran and a Pente- costal. "We are open to anyone Organist St. Bernard Parish in Rockport, IN, a community strongly rooted in the Catholic liturgical tradition. is seeking a part-time organist. Responsibilities would include playing for two weekend liturgies as well as accompanying a weekly choir rehearsal on Wednesday evening. Salary is negotiable. Call 812-649-4811 for more information. t [ i i I i J i[ roll who wants to join us," said Foth. "We might only be a few men giving up our lunch hour, but we find more and more employ- ees asking us to pray for their special intentions," Foth said, Foth said he believes "people have been blessed by God" as a result of the group's prayers. i., We always start ar4nd slth , a prayer, and we ashe Holy : Spirit to dwell in us and bless ever) thing we do," he added. The men, all of whom arema +:; ried and have children, share ' their experiences as fathers, hus- - bands, employees and believers, ,. .,,aid Foth. Their time together usually +r';; foUows a theme. Members use a computer software program  on the Bible as well as a concor-  dance, listing related Scripture passages on different topi. Foth said he was aware of similar groups in three other companies in the area.